8 Types of Lesbians You’ll Meet In College

To straight people the word “lesbian” conjures a very specific image. Probably that of a butchy girl with short hair who wears a lot of crewneck tshirts, khaki pants, and birkenstocks. But, the reality is, lesbians are a very diverse group of people. During college years, in particular, navigating the complex landscape of gay girls can be difficult– who is gay, who is femme, and who is occasionally straight? Here’s your guide to navigating the complex system of college lesbians.

The Sexually Aggressive Baby Gay
Baby gays, also known as people who just figured out that they love eating pussy a whole lot more than they enjoy getting a dick shoved inside them at a rate of 140 bpm, are on the prowl, and they want you to know it. Baby gays are slightly overly vocal about their queerness, and slightly over eager when it comes to jumping into bed. It’s not that they feel like they need to prove that they are gay…okay yeah they do actually feel that way. But, they’re also just so excited about how much better lesbian sex is that they can’t help trying to sleep with every power queer hottie that walks by.

The Power Queer
Power Queers are the lesbian college elite. Inevitably, depending on your campus population size, there will be a few power queers who have likely slept with dozens of the lesbian people who go to your school. Of course, this isn’t always that difficult, since the lesbian and queer population is usually small enough for things to get a little incestuous. You can bet they have hooked up with at least three baby queers. They are universally well liked– except by their fellow power queers who they inevitably have some sort of rivalry with.

The Fabled Members of the Lesbian Mafia
The group of lesbians who provide the entire queer community with weed, adderall, and xanax. As insular as they are unsuspecting. You’ll never know they were supplying your entire hall’s brain power to get through finals until you graduate.

The Lesbian with a Boyfriend (formerly the Power Queer)
She used to be a Power Queer, until one day she started making out with a boy, after having only date women since 8th grade. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, you know who she is. Everyone’s confused by it all, and occasionally she complains about missing vagina. When asked why she doesn’t just dump her boyfriend and start dating women again, she’ll give you a passive shrug and tell you that he is the exception rather than the rule.

The Lesbian Who Doesn’t Know She’s a Lesbian Yet
She swears up and down she is straight but keeps having oddly romantic encounters with her gay friends. She hangs out with a gaggle of lesbians and outwardly acknowledges how disappointing it is that she’s straight, and how she should be an “in the closet hetero”. She just wishes she found women sexually attractive, but she just doesn’t… yet that is.

The Rugby Player
Always exhausted from traveling to different competitions and drinking an unhealthy amount of beer from a boot, the rugby player is the lesbian equivalent of a frat boy. She is constantly surrounded by a gaggle of other rugby players, who play their role as lesbian “frat brothers”. They travel in packs.

The Q Club President
She’s the campus queer activist who is well versed on all current LGBTQ issues, and how they affect campus life. She’s buddy buddy with pretty much every type of lesbian on this list and often times acts as a go between for whatever conflict or political drama breaks out between them. She knows campus administrators on a first name basis, and has an unholy amount of gay related extra curricular leadership positions on her résumé. She’s marched in Pride every year, until she realized how problematic it was and so she organized the counter march. She excels at being gay on paper so much, people wonder whether she ever has any time to actually date any women.

The Unsuspecting Femme-y “Gold Star”
Straight people see her and can’t seem to believe she’s actually a lesbian because of how conventionally attractive she is. She has waist length blonde hair and is really into fashion, and despite whatever stereotypical projections the world has about who is a lesbian and who isn’t, the Unsuspecting Femme-y “Gold Star” is a lesbian through and through. So much so, she’s never even had sex with a dude once. And she never will. Even though men will continue to hit on her at bars.

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