Taylor Swift Has Had a New Secret Boyfriend for Months
Well world, it looks like we were wrong about Taylor Swift.
Her total disappearance from the world had nothing to do with her embarrassment over being the poster child for tone deaf celebrities, she was just too busy being in love and didn’t want the world to ruin it.
Praise be to the content gods because Taylor Swift reportedly has a brand new boyfriend – and he straight up looks like a child.
And seeing as he still lives with his mom and dad, you could argue he kind of is one.
Boy, does Taylor know how to pick them, huh?
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World, meet Joe Alywn.
He’s a British nobody who’s been in moves you haven’t heard of – like Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk – which starred a lot of people you have heard of – like Kristen Stewart, Steve Martin and Vin Diesel.
He has blonde hair, piercing blue eyes, and a face that screams, I’d look great in khaki shorts on your beachside Rhode Island property.
As an actor just barely successful enough to have his own Wikipedia page, it’s not all that surprising that according to The Sun, Joe still lives with his mom and dad.
Even though he’s 26-years-old.
Unsurprisingly, Taylor has gone to great lengths to keep this relationship a secret from the press.
“Taylor has flown in via private jets and her security has made it a military-like mission to prevent her from being seen,” a source told The Sun. “She’s been walking around with Joe in London using disguises to keep her identity under wraps. Nobody has a clue they’ve walked past a music superstar – not even her new neighbors.”
Can’t blame a girl for that one.
And according to this source, the two have been dating for months now.
“This isn’t a new couple alert or a secret relationship – the only people this has been a secret to is the media because all of us, Taylor and Joe’s closest friends and their families,” the source explained.
Coincidentally this reveal came just a week after it was announced Calvin Harris and Katy Perry were coming out with a song together.
Or was it?
With Taylor, anything and everything is on the table.
Welcome back sweet Aryan princess.
The world missed you.
[H/T Perez Hilton]