Struggles Every Girl Faces Before Securing Her Booty Call

Twenty years ago, we wouldn’t have imagined that one day we could find a hook-up with the swipe of your thumb, or send nudes that will self-destruct in 10 seconds. We also would probably be pretty amazed at the strides that women have taken in sexual freedom. Granted, there are still many slut-shamers, but with advocates like Amber Rose, we ladies are taking charge of our pussies.

This means that we’re joining the boys in the art of booty-calling. The only problem is that we’re still new, and still learning. Not to mention the fact that girls are planners. We like to know if we’re going to have someone to go home with at the end of the night so we can shave, let our roomies know we won’t be coming home, and make sure to wear some cute underwear.

Unfortunately, boys aren’t always so keen on this whole “planning sex” bit. And try as we might, booty-calls are not quite as simple as we girls imagined they would be.

1. To Shave Or Not To Shave

Sure, we could shave every night before we go out to be safe. But it really takes long to do our armpits, our legs, and get into every crevice down there. Not to mention that razor burn and ingrown hairs are real, and the less we shave, the less prone we are to an unpleasant looking V. Sometimes, we might even refuse to shave in hopes that it will stop us from making the mistake of having sex with a certain someone. Unfortunately, this never ends up working, and we wake up realizing we let one lucky dude munch on our hairy pussy last night…oops! It must be some kind of reverse psychology, because it seems that when we do shave, we don’t end up getting laid. And the one time that we don’t shave is when Miles Teller’s twin decides he wants to take us home.

2. Will He Be Able To Take This Off?

Boys aren’t the brightest when it comes to our wardrobe items. After all, their closet consists of solely shirts and slacks. When he tries to strip you down and finds you in a unitard and a garter belt, he might get a bit confused. If it’s a boyfriend, it doesn’t really matter, we can take our own clothes off. But if it’s a booty call, we at least want him to think he can get our bra off my himself (even though he probably can’t). So even though we might want to go out in our new white romper, we know that we’re going to go home with a certain someone who might tear the thing in two while trying to take it off…better save it for a night where you’ll be going home alone.

3. Why Are My Cute Panties Always In The Wash?

For some reason, cute panties are expensive. Like shit, how is 5 for $27 even supposed to be a deal, Victoria’s Secret? Half the time the stuff we’re buying is legit a string of fabric! Regardless, all of us have some ridiculous underwear with embarrassing logos or sayings on them, and some thongs are just sexier than others. Naturally, the one time we’re going to get laid is when we’re wearing the slightly period-stained boyshorts that say “Love Pink” on them…If we’re going out for the night and planning to meet someone at 2 am, we’ll try our best to match our bra and panties. But of course, the bra that matches our panties doesn’t work with the tube top we planned to wear out, and now we’re back to square one.

4. Should I Text Him First? What Time?

I know I’m not the only girl who absolutely despises texting a guy first. If he wanted to talk to us, he’d make the effort, right? But when we want some dick, we want some dick. After all, he will definitely text us back if we legit spell out that we want to fuck right? But is that too desperate? Maybe we should start off with a “hey what’s up?” Should we wait until we’re wasted so it seems less desperate than securing the booty call at 10 pm? Maybe we’ll wait until 1 am and see if he texts us? If not we’ll text him…if we’re drunk enough, yeah. Give me another tequila shot.

Gimme More Sex + Dating

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