Slutty Taylor Swift’s Name Is A Joke, But Her Opinions Aren’t

As much as we like to think we’re always in control of our own narratives, in the age of social media, there’s always a limit.  Slutty Taylor Swift, a comedian specializing in nostalgic pop culture humor, found this out the hard way after one very famous person started following her on Instagram: Katy Perry. Suddenly her life was full of angry teenagers, a phone that couldn’t stop, wouldn’t stop blowing up, and an endless amount of articles explaining how a random girl from the Internet fit into Katy and Taylor’s bad blood.  Spoiler alert: she didn’t.

The only thing missing from those dramatic couple of days was Slutty Taylor Swift.  In the midst of a shit storm, the woman behind the IG handle got lost in the shuffle, so we tracked her down in order to get her side of the story. As is often the case, once you give a woman the opportunity to use her own voice, it turns out she has a lot to say. 

I grew up in a generation where every young girl was taught to be the “naughty baby did a no no” finger in my mouth, rub me the right way, belly shirt, lolita, candy bubblegum, jailbait girl that every popstar embodied. I love it because it’s novel, but honestly, young girls today are getting a much more rounded and realized vision of what a young girl CAN emulate.

Obviously the Internet knows you as ‘Slutty Taylor Swift’, but what’s your real name? Unless of course, you prefer to remain a mystery.  

My real name is Dinah.  It literally means “judged” if you look up it’s etymology.  E! News called me “Deena” which was very humbling.

Where did you grow up?

I’m from the south.  I grew up about 3 hours away from Britney Spears’s hometown, Kentwood.  It’s a huge cosmopolitan hotbed of culture, just kidding.  It’s a really small town named Alexandria.

And when did you first know that you wanted to get the f*ck out of there?

I honestly love Louisiana.  I’m planning on building my own Serenity compound right next to Britney and naming it “Closure.”

What’s the most vivid childhood memory you have?

Taking glamour shots.

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What’s the first thing you remember wanting to be when you grew up?

The first thing I remember wanting to be was an actress and my “back up plan” was to be a model. Remember, I’m five.

And now you do comedy.  A little deviation, but still the 5-year-old in you must be stoked about your life.  

Yeah, the five-year-old who decided [that] had no idea how realistic that actually was.  I’ve only been “serious” about myself as a comedian.  I’ve pulled a billion and 1 stunts in the name of comedy.  Probably the most memorable was when I shared a milkshake with Andy Dick in a Jason mask.

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I had a fake OK Cupid profile of me in a Jason mask saying, ‘I drowned in a lake and was left for dead but now I’m back and ready for love!”  It was pretty much a social commentary that there are psychos online and you need to be aware.  This was my tinder photo:

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So where did your interest in pop culture come from?  

I’ve always been obsessed with the imagery of pop music.  I remember accidentally recording over my step mom’s “Days of Our Lives” episodes to record Christina Aguilera’s MTV premiere of “Come On Over”.  The production quality that went into any Christina or Britney Spears music video was unlike anything else.  When people ask me, ‘What’s your favorite movie? I’m like, ‘Britney Spears’s “Stronger” and my favorite director is Joseph Kahn.’

That’s so interesting – I’ve never really thought about there being a particular set of imagery that’s tied to pop music.  Tropes, yes, but imagery, never.  What kinds of images do you think of when you think about pop music, and have you noticed a change since the end of the ’90s bubblegum era?

Yellow VW bugs, belly shirts, and elaborate stage sets.  A lot has changed since the bubblegum era.  You definitely will not see a set like “Stronger,” “Come On Over,” “…Oops I Did It Again,” or “Lucky.”  Those were amazingly done videos, and I would love to see a resurgence of that kind of production.

So, let’s talk about your name: why Taylor Swift, and why bring sluttyness into the picture? 

WHY bring “slutty” into the picture…

I never had to think about that name until thousands of teenagers were angry with me.  To be clear, I do not consider myself a “slutty” version of Taylor Swift, and the name is a totally random mental association.  I realized after, however, that the name actually contains a lot of commentary about women’s role in pop culture.  I grew up in a generation where every young girl was taught to be the “naughty baby did a no no” finger in my mouth, rub me the right way, belly shirt, lolita, candy bubblegum, jailbait girl that every popstar embodied. I love it because it’s novel, but honestly, young girls today are getting a much more rounded and realized vision of what a young girl CAN emulate.

Let it be known that I adore Taylor Swift, and my username “sluttytaylorswift” is a joke.  It’s funny because describing Taylor Swift as slutty is totally incongruous with her brand.  There’s a predicted trajectory that American pop musicians are expected to follow, and Taylor deviates from that.  You will never see Taylor dancing in assless chaps in a men’s urinal, and you will never see her in a schoolgirl outfit.  It doesn’t fit.  If you saw Taylor dancing around in a men’s urinal you would laugh, because it wouldn’t fit her ladylike brand – she’s classy, but also outspoken and empowered.

p.s. there is nothing wrong with being slutty.  I actually love that word and the transgressive freedom it represents.  I see the name ‘sluttytaylorswift’ as a commentary on the social myth of the candied popstar, but really also..wouldn’t it be hilarious if Taylor Swift were a little sluttier?

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Ben Kennedy

Now about those thousands of angry teenagers, or as I like to call it, ‘the Katy Perry Incident.’  Did all of the drama start immediately after Katy followed you, or did you get a second to savor that moment?

Immediately, it felt like.  I thought after that day it would die down, but that whole week it just got bigger.  I just watched my phone blow up for a week.

What was the worst part of the whole thing?

I mean, I hope Taylor’s OK.

Has all the negativity died down by now, or is it still going on?

It’s died down.  It’s funny because Katy messaged me when it happened and literally said, “I thought you were v. funny and had great style, so that’s why I followed you.  I’m sorry everyone’s making this out to be a hate follow.”  And I was like, “KATY THINKS I HAVE GREAT STYLE.”

Do you have a favorite comment somebody posted?

ALL GEMS.  I made a video detailing the comments where I get my male friends to dress as WWE wrestlers and read verbatim what the fans wrote.  It was really funny watching two grown men yell stuff like, “I’m actually 16.  How stupid can you be you barely look 10.” -@alicia.june.x or “@speaknowswift22 think about it Taylor doesn’t want you to be like this she wants you to be to others so just shake it off okay?”  You can see that video, and all my other ones on my youtube, basicbetch.

I’m sure you would never hold anything against Katy, but what was it like to actually meet her?

It was magical.  I was standing outside the red carpet at Jeremy [Scott’s] premier and she was walking to her limo.  She sees me standing on the street and just makes a bee line towards me and gives me the biggest hug and was like like YASSSS.  Her bodyguards body checked my friends around me in literally .9 seconds, and I was only allowed to hug her.  It was like serious secret service shit.

Any last words?

Shake it off.

And, never change.

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‘Slutty Taylor Swift’ by Ben Kennedy is available at Family bookstore in Los Angeles.  


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