Six Reasons Why You’ll Never Be Too Old To Enjoy The Teen Choice Awards

I know, I know, you haven’t watched the Teen Choice Awards since you stopped living at your parents house and started having one night stands, and that’s why this year, you absolutely need to.  Since the award show is happening in a matter of hours, I’ma cut to the chase and make my case so you can plan your evening according.

1. Its f-cking hilarious

See, now that you’ve gotten enough distance from your middle-of-the-road teenage years, you can laugh about all of the things you used to take seriously.  Like the Teen Choice Awards.  I mean, this is an award show where winners receive surf boards and there’s actually a prize for being hot, for f-ck’s sake.  It’s textbook definition hilarity.

2. There’s no such thing as “best”

While it’s hard to choose a favorite aspect about the Teen Choice Awards, mine is probably that instead of saying “best” anything, the award show uses the word “choice” to describe their nominees. After all, this is a program for teens, and they need to be taught a lesson about the subjectivity of award shows. More often than not, the person who wins isn’t really the best. Fox is just trying to keep it real with the kids and slip on a lesson on the DL.

3. All The Drama

OMG, did you hear that One Direction and Zayn Malik are going head-to-head for the first time since their very public breakup earlier this year?  And of course when the Teen Choice Awards says One Direction, they actually just mean Harry Styles, although it was very sweet of them to include the rest of the boys so nobody felt excluded.

And, speaking of Zayn, did you know that if he chooses to attend the event, it will mark the first time him and his ex-fiance Perrie Edwards, will have been in the same room together without yelling at each other?  I smell trouble.

4. Ludacris is hosting

Okay, so technically Ludacris is sharing his hosting duties with Gina Rodriquez from “Jane the Virgin” and some guy named Josh Peck who’s apparently a former Nickelodeon star, but whatever.  I love living in a world where a room full of suits decided that Ludacris was an appropriate choice to

5. Robin Thicke and Flo Rida are performing

Together.  Enough said.

Six Reasons Why You’re Not Too Old To Enjoy The Teen Choice Awards6. Miley is coming

And so is Ariana Grande, Britney Spears, Justin Bieber, Kendall Jenner, Josh Hutchenson, Sarah Hyland and the entire cast of Empire.  While you can count on most of these starts to keep things PG-rated for the evening, you never know with Miley (that’s why she made the headline and they didn’t).

And hey, if you’re still on the fence, there’s always coming up with your own drinking game.

 


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