Shaggy Can Beat ISIS (Spoiler Alert: It Involves Weed)
Unless you’re a mom with a penchant for Caribbean music, chances are you’ve completely forgotten about Shaggy, the man responsible for giving us the gift of “It Wasn’t Me.” But far from disappearing onto whatever desert island all those one-hit wonders of yore wind up at, not only is Shaggy still releasing music, but his understanding of foreign policy is so on point that Obama should really think about giving the guy a call.
In an interview with The Miami New Times to promote his new single, “Go F-ck Yourself,” Shaggy was asked if there was anybody out there he wanted to tell to go f-ck themselves, and surprisingly, Shaggy had the following to say:
“ISIS can go fuck themselves. That’s some crazy shit what they’re doing. It’s horrible, man. I can’t see…I don’t get that much hate. I just don’t get that level of evil. I can’t understand it.”
And if the guy who was your #1 advocate for maintaing that you hadn’t cheated on your girl even though she had literally caught you red handed doesn’t get something, you know it’s a serious case.
But because he’s a foreign policy OG, Shaggy went on to share his foolproof remedy for neutralizing the threat of ISIS, and as you can expect, it’s solid as a rock:
“If you’re able to cut a man’s head off, you’re sick. But right, music evokes emotion. So if they’re listening to Shaggy music or reggae music, they’re not going to want to cut somebody’s head off.
There’re two thing you want to do when you listen to reggae: You get somebody pregnant, or you’re f-cking high. High people don’t want to kill nothing; they want to love. They need to bag some Jamaican weed and distribute it amongst ISIS. I guarantee there won’t be any more wars out there.
Somebody start making some t-shirts because with a platform this strong, Shaggy may just end up being the most attractive Democratic Presidential candidate yet.