5 Perfect Sex Toys For The Girl Who Loves Food

1. Cupcake Vibrator

$39.45, Amazon

Who needs a boring black vibrator when you can have this cute cupcake one? Besides, nobody will guess that the girly accessory on your bedside table is actually what you’re going to use to masturbate with later…Let’s just hope that none of your friends pick it up without realizing what it really is…Or God forbid, lick it.

2. Candy Ball Gag

$9,95, Adam and Eve

If you’ve ever had a ball gag in your mouth, you know that it tastes like shit. If you haven’t had a ball gag in your mouth, just imagine being stuck with a rubber ball in your mouth for hours…yeah, not so fun. What could improve this experience? Candy, obviously! Instead of sucking on man-made plastic, suck on some cherry flavored, sugary goodness! Problem solved. Unfortunately, that makes this ball gag a one-time use product…but it is under ten dollars, which is probably cheaper than your lunch was.

3. Orange Creamsicle Lube

$11.81, Amazon

Isn’t lube so much more fun when you get to squirt it out of a little bear shaped bottle? Let’s just pretend it’s honey instead. Maybe the bottle’s cuteness will make you forget that you’re about to take a dick up your ass!

4. Cheeseburger Ball Gag


$49.99, George Ohwell

Not sure if this tastes any better than a standard ball gag (it probably doesn’t), but at least it’s trendy? Although this product could be improved by actually tasting like cheeseburgers, I don’t think 2015 is ready for that quite yet. Instead, portray your love for fast food by getting fucked with a rubber cheeseburger in your mouth.

5. The Pizza Boy Dildo

$8.74, Amazon

Okay, so this isn’t technically any different than your standard dildo. But, c’mon, anything pizza-related is probably better than its non pizza-related counterpart, right? The only improvement we could make to this dildo is if there was a button designed to order pizza for you while you masturbate. That way, as soon as you’re done orgasming, there could be a hot buffalo chicken pizza waiting for you, that sounds like our type of relationship.

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