Sex Toy Reviews: The Chakrub

Introducing our new online bi-monthly “Sex Toy Review” feature! We all know you need this advice, because we all know partners aren’t necessarily good enough. In fact a lot of sex sucks, so man made shit can be WAY better than the real thing. We’re on a quest to find what THE BEST products are and to make you feel ok that there’s no shame in preferring a dildo to a dick. We sent our resident writer Claudia a bunch of toys and here’s where you’ll find her reviews, starting below!

Chakrubs are crystal dildos. I’m gonna reiterate, they are dildos made out of friggin crystal. They are by far the most luxurious and beautiful toys in my collection.

The first thing that struck me about them was how heavy they are which is great because I find weight to be a really desirable and pleasurable quality. In addition to just feeling baller while pleasuring yourself Chakrubs are supposed to have spiritual healing properties.

According to the brochure my Black Onyx Chakrub is supposed to assist in overcoming past relationships, guard against negativity, absorb and transform negative energy, create emotional stability, sexual health and self control. I also have the White Lotus Chakrub which is made of white jade and is supposed to filter out unwanted distractions, boost energy, release negative thoughts, bring serenity and encourage self realization. If the claims are true my dildo could replace my therapist. I’m pretty skeptical about the spiritual claims but I do have a hippie girlfriend who’s into crystal therapy and swears by it.

I will say I feel better about using these over any type of synthetic silicone toy just because they are natural. I also like that I can use natural lube with these, my favorite is coconut oil. I highly recommend running these under hot water to warm them up before using them because they retain heat really well. I’m a little upset because rainbows and colorful flowers didn’t shoot out of my vag when I orgasmed like the brochure promised.


Did I cum? Yes, no harder than usual though.

Could I use it at work? Nah it’s a f***ing dildo.

Is it discrete? Yes. It makes no noise and is almost pretty enough to be decorative, it’s not an obvious looking dildo.

Would you recommend it? Yes, but only if you had money to burn on a luxe purchase.

Overall Rating 3.5 out of 5

Claudia C. is firstly a genius, secondly keeps it 100 and thirdly knows about sex. Follow her epic twitter @LiteralPorn and read her blog

Gimme More Sex + Dating

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