There’s No Such Thing as ‘Faking It’ When You Have the Right Tools

Good sex doesn’t have to be complicated–as long as you have all the supplies you need. Just like you have to keep your bathroom stocked with the proper skin care products to maintain a youthful complexion, you need to keep your bedroom stocked with all the sex supplies you need in order to avoid a sexistential crisis. We spoke to the co-founder of New York City’s Babeland and co-author of Moregasm: Babeland’s Guide to Mind-Blowing Sex, Claire Cavanah to get informed about how to do it right and never get bored.

Sex Essentials For The Sexually Empowered Straight Woman

1. Condoms

No woman’s sex essentials kit is complete without protection. Don’t leave it up to your partner to bring condoms with them. Although it’s thoughtful and nice for your potential hook up to bring a one, many don’t carry condoms on them 24/7.  It’s absolutely necessary to take safer sex into your own hands and have your own stash. The up side of this? You get to pick the type you love most.

2. Candles and Massage Oil

Why not start your night with a little mood lighting and relaxation? It’s easy in our fast paced “hook up” culture to skip the “romance” and go for the jugular…er…the penetration? But fully engaging all of your body’s senses during foreplay will make for better sex later. How to engage all those senses? This soy based massage candle does triple duty providing warm lighting, delicious scents, and a sensual body oil. “It’s a mood-setter and sensual massage oil all in one. Blow out the candle and then pour the oil onto your partner’s body for a warm, sexy massage.” Cavanah tells us.

3. Babeland’s Babelube Silk Lube

Among lubes, there are usually two choices. Silicone or water based. While water based is more versatile because it can be used with condoms and sex toys, it dries up pretty quickly. Silicone will go the distance with you but limits your play to body contact only (although, it can be used with latex condoms safely). But, for those of you who want the best of both worlds, there is BabeLube, “This is our house lube and we love it so much we put our name on it. Silk lubes are hybrids. They have the versatility of water-based lubes and can be used with silicone toys (make sure to wash it off, though) and the long-lasting slickness of a silicone lube.” Cavanah says.

4. The Jimmy Jane Hello Touch

The HelloTouch JimmyJane is the perfect addition to your sex essentials kit, enhancing every touch of your partner’s fingers with vibration. It’s a simple toy that takes finger play to the next level, without all the fuss.

5. We Vibe 4 Plus Couple’s Vibrator

There are vibrators, and then there are couple’s vibrators. Specifically designed with the couple in mind, We Vibe 4 Plus allows you to play with your partner, even when the two of you are continents apart. How? The We Vibe 4 Plus is both remote controlled and bluetooth enabled. Meaning it can be controlled by your partner in the bedroom with the remote, or across the world with a special app that can be downloaded onto your partner’s iPhone. Use the app to create vibration “playlists” that include varied speed settings and vibration patterns. You can also use it together during sex, just slide the We Vibe in, and the device will provide clitoral stimulation for you, and a little something extra for your man. It’s an amazing device with endless possibilities when it comes to how you choose to use it. And yes, you can use it all by yourself as well…no partner necessary.

6. Emergency Contraception

Nothing will make you feel more secure and prepared than having emergency contraception like ella on hand. If and when unprotected sex happens, you won’t have to spend your morning freaking out over whether or not you’ll be able to get to the drug store on the day you need it. Having it before any accidents happen may seem a littler over the top, but trust me, it will save you a ton of head aches, and possibly prevent an anxiety attack or two. You’re welcome.

Sex Essentials For The Liberated Lesbian Woman

1 & 2: A Strap On and a Dildo

If you want to take your partner sex to the next level, and one or both of you enjoys penetration, then it’s crucial to have a strap on and corresponding dildo. If you’re just starting to explore the wide world of dildos, you may feel overwhelmed. Babeland’s selection alone will have your head spinning as you contemplate what type of toy you want to get sticked with. From the silky textures to hyper realistic models that may put you in a state of uncanny valley, it can definitely be hard to choose your first dildo. Similarly, choosing a harness can be filled with its own trials. Cavanah recommends Babeland’s most popular combo which features a sexy leather harness. But, for a comfier option you can try this Spare Parts harness.

3. The Magic Wand

We’re in love with the Magic Wand in its updated cordless model, not only because it’s the ‘cadillac’ of vibrators, but also because of its new portability that makes it perfect for partner play. You can also shop for a wide range of attachments to customize the type of sensations you experience. And–uh–did I mention when I tried it out, I reached orgasm in under a minute? Believe the hype. It’s all true.

4. Latex Gloves

Remember last month when we talked about ways to have safer lesbian sex? That’s exactly why these latex gloves need to be a part of your sex essentials kit. The black color keeps the mood less clinical (unless that’s what you’re going for) and the latex let’s you engage in all sorts of finger play (anal! vaginal!) while limiting your contact with bacteria or anything that could cause an infection.

5. Light BDSM Gear

If you’re trying to incorporate a little BDSM into your life, then it’s essential to have the right accesories on hand. For beginners, this under the bed restraint system is a quick set up, and user friendly, with velcro cuffs for easy removal. “These restraints stay in place under the mattress and are there when you’re ready. And they’re safe to use too– no knots.” Cavanah says.

6. Babelube Silk Lube

Queer girls need lube too! Make sure you have some stocked in your bedroom for when you need a little extra something something during finger play, anal play, or for when you break out your strap on for more intense penetration.

 

With a stash of sex essentials supplies like these, it’s highly unlikely you’ll ever suffer from bedroom boredom ever again. And since most of these items are versatile, you’ll be able to use them with or without a partner, so they’re sure to go the distance. That means no more excuses for orgasm-less sex anymore, ladies. It’s time to start demanding them, Nicki Minaj style.

Gimme More Sex + Dating

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