Seahawks vs. Patriots Off The Field: Who’s Hotter?
Super Bowl weekend is officially upon us, and although I am obviously super invested in who’s going to claim the title of this years Super Bowl champion, I am much more excited about Katy Perry’s half time performance and how many hot guys are going to be in scandalous commercials this year. Therefore, while the dudes are making bets, arguing over which team has a better defensive line, and talking shit about Tom Brady because they’re jealous, I figured we could have a little game of our own. Which team is sexier: the Seahawks or the Patriots?
The Quarterback, designated hottie: Everyone knows that the quarterback is supposedly the hottest player on a team. He’s usually the less bulky one on the team, and is dating the head cheerleader in every 90’s movie. Both teams this year have some damn sexy quarterbacks, but who’s going to throw all the way?
Tom Brady/The Patriots: Aside from him being one of the most well-known players to female fans like me, Brady does have quite an impressive record, taking the Pats to the Super Bowl 6 times in his career as their quarterback (that’s a record). He’s also been married to super model Giselle Bundchen since 2009 (we’re gonna puke at how perfect a couple they are). Jealousy notwithstanding, if he can keep a super model happy, he must be more than good looks and a nice throw.. if you know what we mean.
Russell Wilson/The Seahawks: While he may not be a seasoned veteran like Brady, Russell Wilson lead the Seahawks to their first Super Bowl win EVER in 2013, he also brought the Seahawks to the Super Bowl again the year after. He also had a pretty impressive baseball career before signing with the Seahawks, and we always like a man who can multi-task. Sadly, he divorced his wife last spring, however, that does mean he is single. And hopefully ready to mingle?
Our Pick: Russell Wilson: Tom Brady is over-rated, married, and apparently is a whiner.
Tight End, too many sexual innuendos to name: Sure, the quarterback might get all the credit, but what about those tight ends? No, I’m (surprisingly) not referring to how nice football player’s asses look in their tight pants, it’s actually a position. For those who don’t know, the tight end is somewhat of a hybrid position in the game, as the players act as a wide receiver as well as an offensive lineman. What does that mean to us? He’s likely equally as great on top as he is on bottom.
Rob Gronkowski/The Patriots: Well, Gronkowski is certainly not shy about baring it all, and we have no problem with that whatsoever. In his second season in the NFL, he became the first tight end in NFL history to lead the league in receiving touchdowns. Although he has no reported girlfriend, it is rumored that he does as well with the ladies as he does on the field- which doesn’t surprise us in the least bit.
Luke Wilson/The Seahawks: Wow… maybe I should start watching football. Maybe the fact that I’m into the long-hair, stoner but secretly buff look, gives me bias- but damn. He is reportedly single, Canadian, and close to his family. If anyone reading this has a connection and wants to give me his number, you know where to find me. Although I can’t find anything super noteworthy in regards to his football career, let’s not pretend that’s why you’re reading this.
Our Pick: Luke Wilson: *casually makes him my wallpaper as I write this*
Wide Receiver, insert second sexual innuendo here:
Julian Edelman/ The Patriots: I just really can’t catch a break with these long-haired football players can I? Wikipedia says that Edelman is known for his “versatility” in being able to play different positions, and holds the Patriot record for longest punt return. Although it’s up in the air, he is rumored to be dating model Olivia Frischer.
Doug Baldwin/ The Seahawks: Just look at this cutie posing with the fam! According to FabWags.com, Baldwin is currently dating Jennilyn DeJesus, who plays in the Lingerie Football League. He also has a YouTube serious called “Fresh Files” where he answers questions from viewers and even has conversations with other equally sexy teammates such as Russell Wilson.
Our Pick: Julian Edelman: Sorry, I know I’m biased with the long hair. But he looks equally sexy with short hair, and who doesn’t like a man who’s versatile?