When It Comes to Hookups, Go for Quality Over Quantity

I love hookups.

In fact, I think the majority of red-blooded humans love hookups. What I don’t love, is one night stands and casual encounters.


Not because I have a “three date minimum” rule in my head, not because I am waiting for a guy who rivals Channing Tatum in dance skills, but because I like good hookups. To me, good hookups mean I am into someone enough that I physically need to be with them. Intimacy is great, but I’ve always argued for quality over quantity. Turns out that science is finally backing me up.

It’s no secret that hooking up leads to a better lifestyle and overall happiness. The Big O brings endorphins, self-confidence, exercise, and more. In a study of 1,000 women, it ranked as the number one activity that made them the happiest. What this study (and many others) didn’t focus on, was what amount was ideal for happiness. Was more better? One would assume so. However, a recent study has found this to not to be the case.

The Journal of Economic Behavior & Organization have just published a study that they conducted in conjunction with researchers at Carnegie Mellon University. 64 adult heterosexual couples were interviewed with questions relating to the frequency of their bumping, and their happiness. Half of these couples were told to continue with their love lives as usual, the other half were told to double the amount of times that they did it. If they did it once a month (the minimum), they had to have it twice a month. If they did it three times a week (the maximum) they now had to do it six times a week.

Ignoring the sad fact that the maximum amount of sex that couples had in this study was three times a week, the couples on average managed to have a 40% increase in their sex life. The subjects completed a daily questionnaire during the 90 days of experimentation which consisted of questions about the quality of sex, their mood after, etc.

Not quite surprisingly, the subjects who were made to have more sex actually had a decline in their well-being, particularly in the areas of energy and enthusiasm. Both men and women admitted that sex wasn’t all that fun if they weren’t doing it on their own accord. Although this surprised the researchers, it didn’t surprise the leader of the study, George Loewenstein:

‘‘It seems that if you’re having sex for a reason other than because you like and want sex,’’ he says, you may undermine the quality of that sex and your resulting mood.

Dr. Loewenstein goes on to say that if you wish to be happy, focus on quality rather than quantity. What other studies have missed, rather than the frequency of sex, is the pleasurability of the sex. If you’re in a happy couple, you’re likely to have more pleasurable sex, which is what really raises your mood. It’s more than just the sex itself.

Bottom line is: If you’re not happy, don’t hop on Tinder searching for a new dick, it ain’t going to help you with sh*t.

Gimme More Sex + Dating

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