Reasons You Need To F*** A Wrestler
There are certain sports that get lots of attention for their hotties (aka soccer), while there are some sports with hotties that don’t seem to get the attention they deserve (aka rowing). The sport of my main concern though, is wrestling. No, I’m not talking about the professional wrestlers who essentially get paid to act for an audience while hurling each other around the ring, I’m talking about the ones who are still in school and don’t have a stage name like “The Hulk” (although John Cena could still get it).
1. Their Bodies Speak For Themselves
Yes, football players have nice asses and soccer players are svelte and strong, but wrestling bodies just top everybody, sorry bout it. Maybe it’s that I’m a sucker for pecs and dudes that look like they can throw me around, but you probably are too. No worrying about uncovering a “dad bod” when stripping down with a wrestler.
2. If You Like It Rough, They’re Your Dudes
They basically have been learning how to hurt somebody without actually hurting somebody all their lives (or however long they’ve been wrestling). Picking you up and flipping you on the bed in 1 second flat is a piece of cake for them. If you’re a sucker for post-sex love marks, you’ll have some lovely new bruises, bite marks, and other niceties to show off at class on Monday. And while choking is not legal in a wrestling match, there are no referees in your bed.
3. Foreplay Is Basically Some Form Of Wrestling
Not to say that a wrestler is going to just throw you around the bed for a couple minutes and then proceed to grab a condom and thrust, but you have to appreciate the small resemblances to wrestling that they throw into their sex game. Getting hot and heavy with a wrestler can almost be a little competitive (in the best way possible). Maybe instead of pinning you down he can tie you up instead?
4. They Know When Enough Is Enough
Just like in a match when they need to chill before hurting their opponent, they’re never going to be too rough with you (unless you ask them to). They’re aware of how strong they are, and usually a dude will ask before being too aggressive, sometimes you might even have to push him to be rougher (because you know he can).
5. They Can Help You With Your Diet
Cutting weight as a wrestler is probably way harder than any diet you’ve ever tried (yes, even that crazy juice cleanse you did pre-Cancun). A wrestler will understand how hard it can be to resist getting Chipotle everyday, and if you’re working hard to lose some weight before summer, he will certainly be able to offer some moral support (and maybe even some helpful hints).
6. The Wrestling and Porn Industry Are More Closely Related Then You Think
After seeing this list of 10 wrestlers who did porn, you may realize that wrestling encompasses many similar aspects of porn. Hot sweaty bodies and partially staged action involving physical contact with an audience.While your local college wrestler is probably not very similar to Hulk Hogan, that doesn’t mean that you guys can’t make your own “home movie.”
7. They Can Be Your New Form Of Transportation
Had a rough night and want to take your heels off? Need to avoid the puddles of water outside your apartment? When you’re hooking up with a strong dude, you might as well let him show off his strength (by carrying you around). Not to mention, you will feel much more safe walking through the shady parts of the neighborhood with a big dude by your side.