7 Reasons Why Drunk Banging Is Overrated
If you’re a single college student like I am, you’ve probably realized that the majority of the time that you’re likely to get laid is late at night when both you and your prospective partner have had too many cups of jungle juice.
Why is it that we can only seem to feel comfortable sexually when we’ve gotten some liquid courage? Is it because we’re shy? Scared of being labeled a “slut?” We think that we can make like T-Pain and blame it on the alcohol if we do something people will judge us for?
Whatever the reason, it seems like there is no avoiding it. But, is drunk sex even worth it? Here’s why drunk banging isn’t as great as you thought…
1. You probably won’t remember it
Maybe it’s just me, but my brain shuts off enough during awesome sex – and that’s when I’m sober. So, when I’m drunk it’s always a bit of a blur. Not that every sexual experience needs to be documented for your diary or something, but it’d be nice if you could ya know, remember who and what got your rocks off.
2. Do you like the smell of vodka and sweaty balls?
Picture this: You start making out with a guy to realize his breathe tastes like a jack and coke, and you go down on him to realize his balls smell just as sweaty as the club that you guys just dipped out of… Somehow this doesn’t sound appealing to me?
3. You snooze, you lose
When people get drunk, they get tired (I am a prime example). Sure, I can never be too tired to be eaten out, but I’m sure the dude wants some reciprocation doesn’t he? Plus, we all know that being on top is one of the best positions to reach an orgasm.
4. Two words: whiskey dick.
If you’re not the biggest fan of sucking peen, you DEFINITELY shouldn’t go down on a dude when he’s drunk. If he does finally cum, it’s probably going to take him twice as long as he usually would due to the alcohol. Yeah…not fun.
5. The awkward morning after
If you’ve been hooking up with a dude for a reasonable amount of time, I’m 100% down for going over to his place and sleeping, then waking him up with some head. However, if you’re going home with a guy for the first time, he’s obviously going to want to get it in asap. If you drunkenly f*** the night before, then wake up sober the next morning– it can get pretty damn awkward. Do you dip out before he wakes up? Wait around and see if he wants to buy you breakfast or at least asks for your name?
6. Pregnancy Scares
It seems that a lot of my smart friends get stupid when they’re drunk getting lucky. When you’re drunk, you’re much more likely to slip and let a guy “forget” to use a condom- or worse. Save yourself the anxiety and remember that it’s better safe than sorry (better wear a latex).
7. You may choose a questionable partner
When you’re drunk and horny, your standards might be lowered and you may not be too pleased by who you wake up with. Even worse, you could wake up with someone you already know- say an ex or a good guy friend… don’t ruin your relationships with your insatiable lust!