The Real Reason Guys & Girls’ Friendships Never Last
Guys and girls: can they be “just friends?” Or is one “friend” always going to secretly want something more?
Bring up this topic, and you’ll likely spark a lively debate among your friends.
While studies have found that most of a girl’s guy friends would bang her if given the chance, that may not be the only reason why men and women have a difficult time staying friends.
A new study has found that one reason guys and girls can’t have lasting friendships is simply because guys handle friendships way differently than girls do.
Basically, guys’ friendships are based on convenience while girls’ friendships are based on personal connection.
“If you move away to another town, girls will be on the phone or Facebook with each other to keep the relationship going,” explained evolutionary psychologist and leader of the study, Professor Robin Dunbar to The Telegraph. “With guys, it is out of sight out of mind. They just find four more guys to go drinking with.”
The study found that men need to meet up in person to maintain friendships, which obviously can be difficult if one friend moves away, gets a demanding job, or gets a new girlfriend that takes up lots of his time. For that reason, many men’s friendships dissolved easily and they just found new friends to bro out with.
If you’ve ever had a male friend disappear when he gets a new girlfriend, moves to another part of town, or finds a new social circle, you can definitely relate. It’s not that the guy stopped thinking you’re cool, it’s just that you’re not quite as convenient. It also goes back to the male argument that guys just aren’t down to text back and forth all day or spend hours on the phone.
This also backs the idea that being friends with guys are “less drama.” The study found that female friendships are “very intense, very like romantic relationships, in the sense if they break they break catastrophically.”
Friendships with guys may be less drama, because they won’t get mad at you for going MIA for a month when you get a new boyfriend or a new job. But it also means that they reserve the right to go MIA on your friendship too, and if you’re feeling low and needing someone to cheer you up, there’s a good chance they won’t be there for you like your girl friend would be.