7 Qualities For The Perfect F*ck Buddy


Although I have previously stated that f*** buddies very rarely work out, the majority of you horny people are probably going to ignore me (including myself). So, if you’re going to venture to find a f***-buddy, choose wisely.

1. Reliability

There’s really no point in having a f*** buddy that only responds to you when he wants to f***. While not a relationship, a f***-buddy ship should still be beneficial to both parties. If he chooses to ignore your 2 am texts and then proceed to hit you up the following weekend, it’s not worth it.

2. Same Schedule

That being said, everybody works on a different schedule. If you’re out at the clubs till 4 am every night (and wanting some D when you get home), but your booty call hits the sack at 10, that shit isn’t going to work out.

3. Doesn’t mind the occasional cuddle

While you’re both seeing each other for one thing and one thing only, we’re humans and we like a little bit of affection. Who’s going to tell us that we can’t go for some spooning after some rough sex? Sometimes it’s nice to have someone to snuggle with late at night, even if you only keep him around for his pussy-eating skills.

4…But knows the deal

There’s nothing worse than trying to establish a “friends” with benefits situation when the other person doesn’t get the deal. If your dude is trying to grab breakfast in the morning, let him know how it is. You don’t want to break any hearts or establish any false interest in anything besides his dick.

5. Lives Close-by 

I love my Brooklyn hipsters, but if you think I’m spending my late-nights on the F train for 40 minutes, think again. There’s plenty of potential sex partners in the sea, and there’s really no need to waste your time traveling to one that doesn’t live within a reasonable vicinity of your place.

6. Doesn’t mind some afternoon delight

I know a lot of you rely on alcohol to feel comfortable with casual sex, but once you’ve gotten into a “rhythm” with your f*** buddy (no pun intended), you shouldn’t be shy about calling him over for some afternoon nookie. After all, that 3pm sunlight casts a great shadow on his abs.

7. Oh… and the sex!

A guy can be reliable, hot, and live down the street, but it should go without saying that the sex should be getting you off. I’m all about convenience whenever possible, but if you’re seriously having sex for that reason, you should reconsider. In other words, if you’re not getting your daily dose of orgasm(s), you should find a new partner.

Gimme More Sex + Dating

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