This Pizza Thong May Be The Best Thing To Ever Happen To Your Vagina
There may be nothing ladies like more than pizza, and yet, for a long time, we denied that pleasure to our vaginas. Think about it, with the exception of our feet (which are too busy with their full-time job to care), our vaginas are the only part of our body that are removed from the pizza eating experience. Our mouthes get to eat it, our eyes get to see it, our fingers get to touch it, our boobs get to wear it, our stomaches get to digest it, and our asses get to grow because of it.
No wonder our periods hurt like a bitch. Our vaginas have just been trying to get a message across to us: they want pizza, and they want it now.
Thankfully, now they’re making pizza thongs for that.
When Phil Gonzales sat down to brainstorm what his next novelty product should be, he immediately thought of pizza. After all, is there anything better than a cheesy slice of warm, saucy bread on literally any occasion? Absolutely not.
But, the question remained: how to condense pizza into the world’s greatest product? After hours walking around the streets of New York city, pizza slice in hand, Phil Gonzales finally found the inspiration he was looking for. Transfixed by the sight of mannequins in a lingerie store, he held up the slice over the crotch area and realized it was a perfect fit.
And thus, the pizza thong was born.
But before Phil can start start making his pizza thongs en masse, he needs a little help in the form of $15,000. Why? Because even though thongs aren’t much fabric, they’re still (apparently) very expensive to make.
Luckily, pizza thongs come pretty cheep. For a donation of $10 or more, you can get your very own pizza thong sans box (because obviously, you already have that part of the equation covered), but if you want the full novelty experience, for a mere $5 more, they’ll gift wrap it in the super cute triangular box featured above. Even though it’s not necessary, your vagina will appreciate the thoughtfulness.
Watch Phil talk about his project below, and just remember, your very own pizza thong is just a click of the mouse away: