A perfectionist’s guide to calming the f*ck down
If you tend to become upset, hyperventilate, or just shut down when things don’t go your way, youâ€™re probably a perfectionist.
And it’s not just a cute type-A personality trait. When youâ€™re a perfectionist, youâ€™re prone to depression. Itâ€™s almost like a law that if you’re a perfectionist youâ€™ll become depressed at least once in your life.
Why? Because real perfectionists are very critical of ourselves and we rarely want help from others. Psych 101 tells us that this is a recipe for depression.
Now thereâ€™s nothing wrong with having a plan or vision and wanting it to pan out successfully, but what happens when it doesnâ€™t? Well, as a perfectionist myself, let me tell you what NOT to do so that you can avoid falling into that sneaky rut of depression.
Iâ€™m no therapist or anything yet, but I do have a B.A. in psychology. These are just some ways that Iâ€™ve found effective in coping with being a perfectionist.
1. Donâ€™t dwell on the why’s
Itâ€™s natural to question things. And whether itâ€™s not getting that promotion or not getting the grade you think you deserved on an assignment, you have the right to ask yourself or someone else why.
Whatever the conclusion is, though, be ready to accept it for what it is.
Then keep it moving, sis. There is nothing you can do to change it.
2. Donâ€™t be overly critical!
I know you want things to be perf, but not everything is going to be great.
Accept the fact that some things are just going to be good, not great, you know, like sex. You gotta take the good with the bad.
3. Try therapy
If you really feel depressed, please go see a therapist! Depression is no joke and it shouldnâ€™t be taken lightly.
Even if you’re not depressed, or you aren’t sure what your deal is, talking it out with a professional can only help. If you don’t have insurance, Talkspace is a great, low-cost alternative.
And it’s kind of boujee being able to call your therapist at all hours of the day, right?
READ ALSO:Â How I learned there’s a wrong way to meditate
Being a perfectionist causes lots of stress, and meditation is a great way to counteract that.
You could try an app like Headspace, but after a 30-day trial, that shit costs almost $10 a month, which… no thanks.
Check YouTube for free alternatives to guided meditation. Or just sit down in a quiet spot and try not to think for a few minutes. It’s literally the cheapest thing you could possibly do, so no excuses!
5. Donâ€™t believe that no means no
Who says you canâ€™t always get what you want? What I mean by this is, where thereâ€™s a will thereâ€™s a way.
You may not get it the way you wanted… but I mean, look at Kim K. You think she sat around depressed because of a leaked sex tape? As inconvenient as it was, honey, she made a whole career off of it!
Once you’ve taken care of the stress that comes with being a perfectionist, you’ll realize this trait is actually great. You’re incredible at getting stuff done the right way. Use it to your advantage.