People Care More About Celebrity Babies Than Their Own

I’m not not interested in celebrity couples, let’s make that clear. I love Kanye West & Kim Kardashian, OK I F***ING SAID IT and I’m super proud I don’t have to hate them like the rest of the world. But, I can’t say I’m that interested in North West, (except for its obviously brilliant name). The hottest new “baby news” came this week when Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis revealed they’re having baby, which to their friends and family I’m sure was super exciting. Obvs. What I don’t get, what i’m having trouble understanding, what I can’t quite wrap my head around is anyone else gives a f*** about this. We even wrote a piece about how funny this baby’s gonna be, but let’s just break this down for a second and understand why this is weird.

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ANOTHER GOOD LOOKING PERSON, YES!
I think someone on my Facebook was like “THIS BABY IS GONNA THE PERFECT”, how on earth do you know that? It could turn out to be terrible like Miley Cyrus and her brother, who I refuse to name. Ashton and Mila are considered to be “good looking” people so they’re baby could be “good looking” too. People are literally getting excited for the entrance of more good lookingness on this planet from someone who isn’t even connected to you. THIS IS WEIRD

THEY’LL NEVER BE YOUR FRIEND
This baby will never know you. This baby will never ever express excitement or joy over anything that happens in your life, nor will this baby be friends with your baby. This baby is not the opportunity you’ve been waiting for to gain access to the celebrity that you love. Yes, someones kids will be friends with that child but it won’t be yours.

HATING OTHER KIDS
I love kids, but kids are super annoying. I think it’s totally acceptable for parents to not like their children, but not if your more excited about child that doesn’t belong to you. “I WISH YOU COULD BE MORE LIKE ASHTON & MILA’S UNBORN CHILD”, mother/father yells at their teenage child.

I really care about celebrities, like I really do. They fuel like 60 percent of my conversations and I don’t feel bad or ashamed about that. I think they’re fascinating and some or them I think are really brilliant, but really don’t care about their unborn children neither should you.

I’ve deliberately only used pictures of North West, because I care a lot about her parents.

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