Where Were the Risk Takers on This Year’s Oscars Red Carpet?

Now that we’ve seen everyone’s dresses on the Oscars 2016 red carpet, we have one word: zzzzzzzz.

It seems like nobody had any fun on the red carpet this year. Everyone opted for either head-to-toe shimmer or solid-colored strapless gowns. Even Lady Gaga showed up looking subdued in simple white.

We were thinking the gowns looked a little boring, and Galore’s red carpet shade correspondent Gabriel Held created the perfect composite photo proving that Hollywood’s biggest actresses are clearly in a style slump:

I’m feeling overwhelmed by the wild individualism, please everybody calm down

A photo posted by GABRIEL HELD (@gabriel_held) on

I mean, can you say bland? What ever happened to patterns? Feathers? Maybe a meat dress?

Of course, there were a few bright spots in the Oscar red carpet this year. Kerry Washington snuck through in a bondage-y 90s throwback Versace number:

 

Jennifer Lawrence actually managed to make her mandatory Dior look like something fit for a girl under 50 for once:

 

And Heidi Klum went out on a limb with this totally 70s diaphanous number:

 

Even Whoopi Goldberg looked more interesting than most of the 20-somethings in attendance.

 

Brie Larson also went for it with some blue frills:

 

But other than a select few, most of the actresses’ dresses were boooooringgggg. This is kind of a crisis. The red carpet is supposed to be the actual entertaining part of the night. Nobody gives a crap about sound editing and documentary shorts — we want to see some style and individuality. What’s even the point of being famous and rich if you’re going to dress like a mother of the bride on the biggest night of the year?

So Hollywood stylists, if you’re reading this, please stop making your clients look so tasteful. We miss swan dresses and Cher feathers. These primary-colored strapless columns are no fun.

Gimme More Fashion

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