Open Relationships: Can We Only Love One Partner?
Our generation is apparently the one that is messing up love. We constantly want the next big thing and more of it. We want more likes, more followers, more swipes, more money, etc. But is this starting to drip down into our love life? The idea of once finding one partner, following madly in love, getting married and growing old together is fading.
Now, you swipe right, go to a bar, hook-up, get hitched on a small island, then about 4 years later you get divorced via Facebook. But we now live in a world that if we aren’t content with how things currently are, it’s okay because we know the next best thing will come along. We can always update our phones, get faster internet service, more Seamless options, download the latest dating app, etc.
But take, for example, a friend of mine who just left a messy relationship. He was very much involved in the relationship and neither one of them cheated on each other or anything scandalous, they just grew apart. But once he was out, he told me how he was walking around his block and had never noticed all the beautiful girls out there. He’s now a recovering sex addict.
No, I’m totally kidding. But he definitely doesn’t see the rush to jump into any committed relationship soon.
Which got me to thinking about just how damaged we all are. It’s as if we’ve been burned so many times that we’re almost immune to pain or we don’t wish to suffer through it again so we avoid it altogether. Could it be that the countless disappointments we’ve endured in the past are making it harder and harder for us to learn how to trust? Especially with allowing new partners into our life?
MSNBC did a survey this year that said 43% of single people have Googled someone before a first date. Maybe that’s not too much, but it’s still a significant percent. The fact that we need to validate this person before we even meet them speaks volume.
Sure, sex is a vital part of a relationship, but it won’t survive without trust. But these days, everyone is on their toes and constantly trying to figure out what the other’s motives are. Does he really like me? Does he just want to sleep with me? Is he only using me to make his ex jealous? Does he even want something serious? Does he take me seriously? He doesn’t have a motive? What’s wrong with him?
We’re becoming a skeptical generation. Where we question everything about everyone and if something or someone isn’t up to our standards then we don’t stress because we know we can have something better in no time. According to the MSNBC survey, it also said 53% of people say they have dated more than one person simultaneously.
The phrase, “don’t put all your eggs in one basket” was taken a little too far. Because now we shatter our eggs into a million pieces and throw them out for the whole world to grab. We want to increase our chances of finding someone without going through too much disappointment. Hence why we can’t just date one person. We need several options.
Because that’s what our generation loves. Options. Options and advancement.
In a few years, we will be more open to the idea of open relationships. They won’t be such a rare thing.
And it’s starting to take effect now. I know a good friend of mine who is currently dabbling with this idea. Putting a stop to all the charades, him and his new girl hang out when they can, but they’re also very involved with work. And they’re not exclusive which means in a completely realistic world, they see and sleep around with other people still.
What sets them a part from the rest of other relationships? They share this with each other. It’s one of the most honest and open relationships I’ve heard. Where, it’s still in the beginning stages of a relationship and the fact that they care for one another is established, but they’re also not hiding the fact that they see other people.
He went out of town for a bit and when he came back, they hung out and she shared with him some dates she went on.
Open relationships are not for people who can’t commit or don’t know how to commit anymore. Some open relationships have more love than some monogamous ones. And in a world where we have over 7 billion people, it doesn’t seem necessarily realistic to only have one partner for the rest of your life.
I can see a problem arising if certain people are looked at as a piece of ass, but if there are genuine and true feelings there, why is it a bad thing? We all have different groups of friends for which we decide to hang out with. Our drinking friends, our co-workers, our classmates, etc. It’s not all that crazy to see our partners like that as well.
But we’re constantly changing our minds. With career aspirations, living situations, etc. I saw a comment on a Reddit article under Change My View by someone named Mavericgamer who brought up the point of what if you were given one friend and you could only hang out with them for the rest of your life? Or you could only pick one job to be at the rest of your life. They even threw out the idea of only having one drinking buddy and how unrealistic all of that is.
Sure, open relationships are not for everyone, but it’s starting to become less feared and more accepted. Sometimes honesty really is the best policy and if it works for you and your relationship, then power to you.
So maybe our generation shouldn’t be labeled as killing love, but maybe the idea of loving one person. Maybe we’re becoming the generation that has too much love to give?
Do you think open relationships are going to become more of a thing? Or are we simply a generation that can’t stick with a decision?