NYC Ruined My Idea Of A Relationship


Back in high school, being in a relationship was as simple as deciding you were going to join the chess club. There were a few steps you had take, but in the end you were in.

I thought this was the way the rest of the world worked until I moved to the city and discovered that there are no rules or guidelines on relationships. That guys here are more down to f*** than down to date. Or that maybe they are down to date you. But also date Lisa on Mondays and Michelle on Saturdays.

The most shocking thing was learning how to play the game. Something I had never done before.

I know the city always changes people and robs you of many things whether it’s your money, morals, or standards. But I didn’t think it would change me. Especially my outlook on relationships and how they work now. Starting with the guy who stole my virginity and then ran out of my life soon after, to every guy I’ve casually seen since, I’m beginning to lose hope in relationships altogether.

Or maybe it’s just the city where dating is difficult, having a boyfriend is rare, and having a faithful one is near impossible. People are less appreciative of finding someone. Especially if they can go to their local bar and have anyone.

I understand that being in a relationship shouldn’t be the central focus of your time or energy, but it has to count for something, right? And in a city where it’s almost “cool” to hate relationships, I’m beginning to feel like a freak for the idea of even wanting one still. For still carrying a smudge of hope that there are great guys out there who would love to have a girlfriend and not find the title to be a drag.

Because as much as I want a thriving career and my own accomplishments, there is still a part of me that finds having a great man to be an achievement as well. Here’s to still hoping.

Gimme More Sex + Dating

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