The new skirt trend is to wear a loincloth

Sorry modesty bloggers, but the newest fashion trend in skirts is loincloths.

That’s right, loincloths.

You know, like what cave people allegedly wore, but who knows because we weren’t there and time travel isn’t real.

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Now this trend didn’t come from nowhere.

Double slit skirts have been sold at an Urban Outfitters near you for years now and dresses with slits all the way to the pelvic bone have been red carpet staples for almost as long. Just ask Bella Hadid. She can’t get enough of them.

But recently, these two skirt trends have evolved into their ultimate thotty level: the loincloth.

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Although the loincloth was spotted in the wild as early as 2014 when Kendall Jenner used it to announce to the world she was all grown up and model-y, it took the rest of the world a little longer to get on her level.

And while you may not have noticed it, if you look around you, and you’ll start to see loincloths everywhere.

There’s this sequin-covered $78 polyester blend loincloth:


Which you can also get in green.


Or as a maxi-skirt, in case you’re feeling modest that day.


And if sequins aren’t your thing, you can also buy the loincloth in a celestial pattern:


Or as a see-through lace dress:


Or if you want something you can wear with literally any of the 50 pairs of shoes you own, you can just buy yourself a black loincloth dress.


Your friends will all hate you when you go out together, but hey, it’s a good way to make sure the entire room is looking at you, kid.

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