My Long Distance Relationship & iPhone Are Physically Hurting Me

USA Today recently published a piece highlighting the soar in cell-phone related injuries between people ages 16-25. In 2010, 1,500 pedestrians went to the emergency room for cell-phone related injuries, compared to 559 pedestrians in 2004. As you can imagine, the numbers have only been going up.

My existence is no exception to this cell-phone obsessed and injury prone generation.

While long distance relationships are notoriously tough, mine seems to have taken a different turn. I don’t have jealousy issues, I do have phone sex on the reg, and nobody is cheating…but I’ve been hurt. Not emotionally hurt, but physically hurt, and it all leads back to my cell phone.

The first time it was almost comical, aside from the scar that still resides on my lower right jawline. I was sunbathing topless on the beach in Spain, engaging in my daily (or more often, hourly) activity of snap-chatting my boo. Obviously, being topless and in direct sunlight, I was having trouble getting an ideal angle of my face-to-boob ratio. Not to mention that I was trying to be someone discreet, as to not be the lame American tourist taking nudes on the beach in Barcelona.

Unfortunately, this “discreetness” was soon shattered as I felt a strong blow to the right side of my face, nearly knocking my cell phone out of  my hand. After regaining my composure, I realized that someone’s umbrella had come loose and blown down the beach, only to whack me in the face. As my friend ran to grab ice from the nearby club, I sat in shock, holding the side of my face and aligning the umbrella in front of me to ensure that whomever’s umbrella it was had to come and get it to face my wrath.

Unfortunately, nobody came to claim their umbrella (they were obviously too embarassed), and I still haven’t learned to be more aware while taking selfies. Two months later, I am still applying scar cream to the side of my face.

The second time included less nudity, but more pain and embarrassment. As I was rushing around and running errands on a busy Wednesday, my man texted me that he hadn’t slept all night, and that he “wanted to talk.” Of course, these are the last words than any girl wants to hear. While having a mini panic attack in my head, I stepped into the student restrooms in a building on campus. Naturally, as I was walking out of the bathroom stall, I smacked headfirst into a conveniently eye-level shelf-rack. After absorbing the shock, I burst into tears while feeling the quickly forming egg shaped bump above my left eyebrow. Within seconds, a female professor walked into the bathroom and asked if I was alright. Trying to play it off, I whimpered, “I’m fine,” in between tears. The professor didn’t believe my meager attempts, and rushed to grab me a huge bag of ice which she proceeded to give me as she sat me down on her office couch and made a call to my college so that I could report the incident (in case I wanted to go to the hospital or sue my university, God forbid). Now, not only was I still freaking out about what my boyfriend wanted to talk about, I was sitting with a bleeding bump on my forehead while passerby’s (some of whom recognized me) wondered what the hell I did to my head.

While still nursing both of my facial wounds with ice, scar cream, and neosporin; I am consciously making an effort to keep my “eyes on the road” (or in front of my face, at least). God forbid I had walked blindly into a street rather than just into a shelf, or been hit by the umbrella on my nose rather than on my jawline.

Even when not in a long distance relationship (or talking to anyone at all), it’s easy to be glued to your phone (hello, Instagram!). I’ve always told myself that I can do without my phone (and I’ve had to, after losing my Iphone post Jose Cuervo shots), but recent actions (specifically, injuries) have made me realize that when I do have my phone, I can be so glued to it that I have absolutely no clue what is going on around me.

Your relationship and social life are important, Kylie Jenner’s latest Instagram post is entertaining, but what’s happening right in front of you is equally important, if not more. Let’s not pretend that you’re going to go 24 hours without your phone…but at least try to put it down while you’re walking. Unless, you want to join my club of icing my forehead, be my guest.

Image courtesy of creativemarket.com

Gimme More Sex + Dating

Do You Like?

Some things are only found on Facebook. Don't miss out.