Married Man Offers Advice On Making A Relationship Last
Apparently I’ve been doing shit all wrong. The other day I got into a conversation with a groom who’s getting married soon. He spontaneously went into relationship advice after I asked how he proposed.
He gave me a lot of good advice about dating that really made me think. Clearly I’ve been doing it all backwards when it comes to making relationships last. Not that I’ve been looking but there have been some relationships that I wish would have went further. Here is how he said he made his relationship last with some wedding counselor psychology…
So he said there are 4 levels in relationships. He explained it like an equalizer or a mixing board and said each peg shouldn’t be higher than the first.
You shouldn’t be intimate with someone you can’t rely on. This doesn’t mean you have to wait until marriage. But, if you’d rather not have the chance of being in booty call status, establish a real bond first. Now you can have sex early and still have a great relationship but waiting until he takes you seriously first can help with longevity.
You shouldn’t rely on someone more than you can trust them. Reliability is big when it comes to real relationships. You don’t want a fair weather friend especially not a fair weather boyfriend. Yikes. Will he be there for you?
You shouldn’t trust anyone you don’t know. It’s common sense but when it comes to meeting new love interests, most of us let our guard down. If you can’t trust him to be there or even be faithful. Then why even go on?
Lastly, you have to know the person. It’s hard when someone can tell you anything when you can’t even fact check but the signs are always there. Take the time to get to know them so you can figure out who they really are. This takes sometimes weeks, months, even years. Knowledge is key especially pertaining relationships and growing with someone.
Pretty simple but apparently I’ve been backwards with intimacy being first and knowledge being almost dead last. I guess that’s why most of these “relationships” of mine have been so dysfunctional.
So according to Jason, that’s how you make it last (when you’re on the same page of course). So the next time you want to take him seriously and you really want to make it last, remember those key things. Knowledge, Trust, Reliability and Touch. Do you really know him? Not just his favorite movies or music but his past and what makes him tick. Can you trust him? Is he reliable? Without sex do you still have things in common?