What It’s Like To Babysit A Rich Kid
Like most female youths, I made money in the burbs by babysitting. But now that I live in NYC, babysitting is still the key to liquid cash moneys. Except, today’s kids aren’t the cute neighbor kids I used to make obstacle courses for in the backyard. These kids know things.
So last Friday night I went over to a bougie family friend’s neighborhood to watch their kid. I mean I know it’s a Friday night, but bands also make me dance. It was one of those neighborhoods where all the strollers are worth more than my rent.
When I arrived, Jefferson, cool rich kid, was watching National Geographic, not Spongebob, on the couch.
Before I could introduce myself he says, without looking at me at all, “It seems boring because these two grown ups talk the whole time, but it’s very informative. It’s about animals.”
He just knew I was curious… like a wizard. Also, he used the word informative. When do kids even learn to spell?
He continued, “You’re Catherine, but you prefer Cat, you’re here while my parents are gone because I need an adult here when I’m alone.” This kid was dropping mad knowledge and I just nodded. He schooled me.
Now, I’m a cool babysitter. All small things love me, babies, animals, other small things I can’t think of right now. So I grab a box of Trader Joe’s mac and cheese from the cabinet. Convo as follows:
Me: “Yo Jefferson you want mac and cheese?”
J: “Oh yeah!”
J: “I hope it’s good.”
Me: “I got this, don’t worry.”
J: “I had a fabulous piece of salmon last night.” Direct quote. Fabulous salmon.
Me: “Well, I don’t think this boxed mac is going to compare to fresh salmon dude. Want a carrot?”
Mac and cheese went over ok. My cooking has gotten higher reviews.
And it goes on for all of us sitters of rich babies. Some stories from my fellow au pairs:
“A kid I babysit one time told me it was ~so hilarious~ when they had a fire drill at school because they got to go outside in their indoor shoes without switching to their outdoor shoes first.”
To be fair, Brooklyn is mad weird. Apparently, the kids aren’t allowed to dress up as superheroes at school for Halloween because superheroes kill people. I mean they kill bad guys right? WTF.