What It’s Like To Babysit A Rich Kid

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Like most female youths, I made money in the burbs by babysitting. But now that I live in NYC, babysitting is still the key to liquid cash moneys. Except, today’s kids aren’t the cute neighbor kids I used to make obstacle courses for in the backyard. These kids know things.

So last Friday night I went over to a bougie family friend’s neighborhood to watch their kid. I mean I know it’s a Friday night, but bands also make me dance. It was one of those neighborhoods where all the strollers are worth more than my rent.

READ ALSO: Rich Kids Are Accidentally Snitching On Their Parents Acts of Fraud

When I arrived, Jefferson, cool rich kid, was watching National Geographic, not Spongebob, on the couch.

Before I could introduce myself he says, without looking at me at all, “It seems boring because these two grown ups talk the whole time, but it’s very informative. It’s about animals.”

He just knew I was curious… like a wizard. Also, he used the word informative. When do kids even learn to spell?

He continued, “You’re Catherine, but you prefer Cat, you’re here while my parents are gone because I need an adult here when I’m alone.” This kid was dropping mad knowledge and I just nodded. He schooled me.

READ ALSO: 8 Outrageous Quotes From A Rich Kid Of Instagram Will Make You Cringe

Now, I’m a cool babysitter. All small things love me, babies, animals, other small things I can’t think of right now. So I grab a box of Trader Joe’s mac and cheese from the cabinet. Convo as follows:

Me: “Yo Jefferson you want mac and cheese?”

J: “Oh yeah!”

J: “I hope it’s good.”

Me: “I got this, don’t worry.”

J: “I had a fabulous piece of salmon last night.” Direct quote. Fabulous salmon.

Me: “Well, I don’t think this boxed mac is going to compare to fresh salmon dude. Want a carrot?”

Mac and cheese went over ok. My cooking has gotten higher reviews.

And it goes on for all of us sitters of rich babies. Some stories from my fellow au pairs:

1.

“A kid I babysit one time told me it was ~so hilarious~ when they had a fire drill at school because they got to go outside in their indoor shoes without switching to their outdoor shoes first.”

To be fair, Brooklyn is mad weird. Apparently, the kids aren’t allowed to dress up as superheroes at school for Halloween because superheroes kill people. I mean they kill bad guys right? WTF.

2.

“I once was babysitting a kid who told me, didn’t ask me but told me, that he was having a friend come over and study later. I said ok. I didn’t ask who it was and then he just drops, ‘It’s Lamar Odom’s son…'”
What an actual BALLER!

3.

“So I was babysitting this bougie kid, and he asked me ‘So where do you summer?’ I dint know what that meant so he was kinda enough to rephrase. I usually spend my summer at home just relaxing on my couch. HE looked at me with shock and said  “Wow… I’ve never met anyone who does that”
It’s called planning ahead V. Investments are key. KEY.

4.

“When the six-year-old I babysit misbehaves I would take away his phone (he would lose ‘phone privilege’) BUT THEN he just went over to his jacket and pulled out his OTHER iPhone 7, and when I took that away, he went on his iPad, then his computer, and finally his Apple Watch.”
Seriously who is this kid? I must know.
NOTE: These encounters didn’t lead to us loving these kids any less. They are innocent, isolated youths who assume their norm is everyone’s norm. The couple I babysit for is basically raising the next president. They are awesome. I was offered anything I wanted in the fridge. They UBERED me home. And their kid taught me a lot about aquatic animals. Rather, these tales just made us all feel like lame turds for not having a place to summer or knowing Lamar Odom’s son through a 7-year-old acquaintance.

Gimme More POP

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