How to lift your bestie up during a breakup
Whether you or your friend have been dumped, ghosted, or cheated on, the worst thing is to watch the person who made once made them so happy, make them so unbelievably sad.
The anger and hurt just sits and boils inside as you wonder: “How could they have done that to me?” “How could they have done that to her?” “Why on earth would they do that?”
It sucks because those are questions you are probably never going to know the answer to. Nothing is more exhausting than waiting for an apology you’re never going to receive. You create all these little scenarios in your head, but most of the time, they never happen.
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It’s normal to be mad for a little while, but it comes to a point where the person who hurt you isn’t worth wasting your negative energy on anymore. Most of the time, they’ve probably already forgotten about you if they haven’t come running back, and thats the harsh but sad truth.
I remember the first time a guy really hurt me, and a girl I barely knew was like “Want me to beat him up for ya!?” That was the last thing I wanted to hear. You don’t want them to know that you care and you don’t want to give them that satisfaction, so obviously that made me even more frustrated.
Ladies, revenge is sweet, but it’s also really fucking stupid. In the end, nothing is going to change and it’s only going to make things worse. Once someone knocks you down, it’s not about getting back at them. It’s about lifting yourself back up after that person took a little part of you and isn’t going to give it back. The person that hurt you knows your hurt, you don’t need to remind them. The best thing for you to do is be silent, after all, silence is the loudest cry.
I asked my fellow ladies at Galore their experience with breakups and advice on how to basically get the fuck over it, and their responses were pretty great, obviously.
After somebody’s broken your heart, what do you wanna hear?
Maria Pasquini (@mlpasquini) wants to hear: “What food can I get you?”
“I just want someone to hear me out but just watch TV and eat with me…and let me take a walk if I need to,” she said.
Ummm, this is 100 percent true and super important. When your girl is having a hard time, go to your local Chinese food restaurant and get her some fucking dumplings. And then get her ice cream. Then, let her cry her heart out to you while you listen, then comfort her and watch The Notebook with her.
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Also, breakups aren’t sad for everyone. Galore’s senior editor Molly Mulshine (@mollymulshine) at least feels that way. She hates it when people say “I’m so sorry!” because it assumes breakups are inherently sad, when maybe it was a good riddance! Never assume if you don’t know the facts.
Ashley Uzer (@ashleyuzer) hates it when people say, “You were way too good for him, he was so ugly.” Like I’m sorry, but I don’t wanna hear that you thought my boyfriend was ugly and that I was too good for him. That’s not going to make anyone feel better.
Maria, Molly and Ashley all agree that revenge is pathetic.
“I think revenge makes you look pathetic and embarrassing because it always looks like you’re out to get revenge if you do anything besides live your life,” says Ashley.
“The best revenge is living better” says Maria.
“The only good revenge is if it’s a byproduct of you doing shit you want to do,” says Molly.
So, how DO you lift your girl up after a fuckboy knocks her down?
“You have to make an effort to spend time by yourself,” Maria says. After a breakup, you are left with a void, and you need to learn how to be comfortable alone again. Of course quality time with your girls is a given, but you need to learn what its like to be alone with yourself.
“Don’t turn so hard to alcohol,” Ashley says. If you drink in hopes of feeling less empty, you’re only going to blackout and feel even worse. It doesn’t help. Maybe a bottle of wine on a night where you stay in.
You need to do things that are healthy for you, drinking is not one of them. Go for a run, go watch the sunset, make the healthiest pizza you’ve ever made, go boxing and pretend the punching bag is your ex’s face. Make your girl a playlist of her favorite songs, go on a road trip, deactivate your Instagram for a week. Its about YOU, not him. His quick rebound is only going to be a downgrade from you, its like that 75% of the time.