A History Of Kim Kardashianâ€™s Love Affair With Beignets
Pretty much the best part of Christianity is that for one day every year, people are encouraged to eat as much glutonnous food as humanly possible.
That day is called Fat Tuesday and wouldnâ€™t you know, it’s happening RIGHT NOW. Unless you’re reading this on a date that isn’t February 28, 2017, in which case, sorry you missed out.
From now until the sun goes down, God-fearing humans the world over will be celebrating this truly lit occasion by shoveling mountains of pancakes and beignets into their mouths. The truly hardcore will head down to New Orleans and drink their faces off on top of it.
And that list of God-fearing humans probably includes Kim Kardashian, because beignets are one of her favorite things on this earth.
Now, if youâ€™re the kind of skinny bitch who sees a donut store and runs past it like itâ€™s your ex-boyfriend who called you the wrong name during sex, you might not be familiar with beignets. They’reÂ basically a funnel cake-donut hybrid.
Realistically, they’reÂ justÂ small pockets of dough covered in powdered sugar, but they somehow they taste way more delicious than that description sounds and practically melt in your mouth.
Anyway,Â Kimâ€™s calorie-filled love affair with beignets began in 2015 when she went to New Orleans with some of her besties because she was pregnant and why not?
Since only the best of the best for Kimmy will do, she got her beignets from the world famous Cafe Du Monde, and she loved every last bite of them.
In fact, Kimmy got so deep into her beignet love affair she was eating them three times a day. Talk about an afternoon delight!
And she was still going strong when she got back to Calabasas,Â which Kris thought was absolutely ridiculous.
â€œI was in the kitchen this morning. You had your chef making the beignets because you brought home the beignet mix,â€ said Kris, not even trying to play nice in front of the Keeping Up With the Kardashians kameras.
And thatâ€™s when things started to go downhill for Kimmy.
â€œUgh, these fat hands,â€ Kim complained a short while later. â€œMy ring doesnâ€™t even fit. I am so tired, you guys, I donâ€™t know whatâ€™s wrong with me.â€
Realistically, the only thing wrong with Kimmy was that there was a little parasite named North gestating in her belly. After the births of North and Saint, she’d soon become an Atkins diet devotee â€” and the Atkins diet does not include beignets.
Still, Kim never turned her back on the sugary-sweet love of her life.
Thereâ€™s even a beignet Kimoji!
Why it looks like an appetizing piece of cardboard is a question for another time, but it exists.
Although recently, there has been a little trouble in beignet paradise.
Why sheâ€™d torture herself like that is yet another question for another time, but weâ€™ll have to take her word on it.
But if there was ever any day to make an exception, it would be today.
Give in to Fat Tuesday, Kimmy.
Eat a gosh darn beignet.
Jesus would want you to.
And for more on random things the Kardashians love to put into their mouths read:Â