Valentine’s Day is the time to reflect on self love, breaking the norms, & sexuality

If you look up queer, you’ll find it most often defined as anything that goes against established social norms.

With the queen of heteronormative traditions, Valentine’s Day staring us in the face, we are reminded of the difficulty of finding another human to shower with love. Yet we need to first look in the mirror and remember we have our damn selves to cherish, gush over, and love. We need to allow our individual selves to find what makes us truly happy. After all, sexuality is a journey and love shoots in all directions.

Entangled in the netting of a society that loves stereotypes, I often struggle in the search for a partner I want to be romantic with. As you may also have experienced in your own life, being queer isn’t easy, even in the LGBTQ world. Media shouts at us from all different platforms about how we should act, dress, live, and love.

It is time we break tradition of (the warm fuzzy feeling) by moving forward past antiquated ideas and embracing the endless possibilities of love. Be it platonic, romantic, or most importantly singular with one’s self. Loving ourselves starts by owning the masculine/feminine energy that we all possess. Finding the beauty in what makes each of us unique, on the inside and outside, will boost our confidence and strengthen our self-love.

In January fate would cross the paths of two strangers at the Madonna Inn. Leila, a golden curled lass covered in silk and feathers and myself, a blue haired boy with horns and hooves. What would follow this wild creation is a blossoming friendship. Phones calls and hang outs in sun drenched LA would bring up topics such as dragon women sperm eaters, celibate monks, sexual frustrations and what it means to be “queer”.

Shared annoyances with sexual stereotypes along with histories dotted in miserable intimate moments sparked an awareness for us to delve deeper into what it means to be entirely who we are.

Leila and I embarked on a visual journey of what ‘queer’ means to us. Breaking the molds of “boy kiss boy” and “girl kiss girl,” we showed each other our vulnerable selves, radiating our innate feminine/masculine energy. In so doing we discovered when we own who we are, explore the possibilities of love, and evolve sexually that is when we will feel the most happy, satisfied, and fulfilled.


Keon Casmi– Essay/Creative Direction/Model/Writer

Leila Spilman– Creative Direction/Model/Styling

Brooke Barone– Photography

Leeza Regensburger– Set Designer and Props

SooYoo Kim– Makeup

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