Inside Kendall + Kylie’s Spring 2016 Collection Launch Party

I’m at the Kendall and Kylie Collection launch party in a (rumored) $150,000-a-month, three-floor apartment in Tribeca, and I’ve had enough champagne to talk to Lance Bass.

And he’s just my first stop of the evening. This will start a snowball of encounters, culminating in convos with Kris and Kylie, trash talk from Jonathan Cheban, and a quick whiff of Kanye’s bomber jacket.

First, let me set the scene: we’re in the aforementioned private residence and the vibe is relatively chilled out, while selfie possibilities are endless. There are Polaroid cameras up for grabs; photos of Kendall and Kylie everywhere; a Kardashian-Jenner-style black and white photo booth with incredible lighting. We also sample the usual rotation of Fashion Week-approved hors d’oeuvres like sliders and mini grilled cheese.

Oh, and the girls’ Coachella-friendly collection is hanging up around the premises. The overalls, mock turtlenecks, and coordinated checkered outfits look great in person. I’m particularly distracted by the shoes. As I’ve previously written, Kendall and Kylie could definitely be the next Jessica Simpson-style retail empresses when it comes to their shoe designs and pricepoints.

But for now, Lance is my main target. I swoop in and inform him that he was my chosen member of ‘NSync — and therefore about 30% responsible for my sexual awakening as a tween.

“Hi, Lance,” I say. “You were my favorite member of ‘NSync!”

“Ohhh,” he says adorably. “You have to say that!”

“No, I’m dead serious!” I say.

Then, New York fashion legend Fern Mallis comes over and swipes Lance from my clutches. She then asks me to take a picture of her and Lance. What am I gonna say, no?! I do it.

After their conversation tapers off, I talk to Fern about Fashion Week stuff. As we’re chatting about venues, a throng of people with lighting equipment and cameras pushes into us. They’re definitely filming for KUWTK. I spot A$AP Rocky and Kris Jenner first. And then, suddenly, Fern is tapping a member of the group on the shoulder: “Kanye!” she’s saying. “Kanye!”

Kanye turns and says hi to her. Wow, that looked so easy! I try it myself.

“Kanye! Kanye!”

It doesn’t work. So I just take in his presence. I’m like, less than six inches away from him. I can’t help noticing that he smells great — musky and clean. I am pleased to have sniffed one of my idols. You can’t tell that from my chronic resting bitch face, though.

Kanye is now greeting Kendall and Kylie. Kris Jenner, America’s matriarch, is separated from the herd.

And she is literally so nice, you guys. She tells me that her favorite item from the Kendall + Kylie Collection is the black jumpsuit with the plunging neckline that Kylie is wearing tonight. Cute!

Later, my associate and I move downstairs to the dance floor, where Virgil Abloh is DJing and Kendall, Kylie, Justine Skye, and a bunch of other hotties are hugging and talking — but not dancing. I guess dabbing in stilettos doesn’t photograph that well, despite what Kim Kardashian’s new emojis would have you believe.

I ask the glowing and flawless Kylie what her favorite item from the collection is. Sorry, you’ll have to follow galoremag on Snapchat to see her answer.

My work here is pretty much done. But as I’m leaving the dance floor, I spot Jonathan Cheban, whose Twitter shade skills I’m currently obsessed with. Jonathan is really good at being mean. He once told a Twitter hater, “You’re the spit that I walk on.”

So I ask him to think of the meanest thing he can say for Galore’s Snapchat cameras. He settles for an innocuous, “How did you get in here?!” I guess he’s in a good mood.

Photos by Amber Asaly; top photo via @kyliejenner

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