I joined my school’s “best” sorority and it sucked
Alright, before you scroll down, this isn’t going to be an article bashing greek life, but it’s also not gonna be super sweet, because let’s be honest, greek life isn’t all glitter and dancing.
When I first came to college, I wasn’t exactly aware of the greek life. It wasn’t until I got there that I realized it was pretty much 90 percent of the social life if you weren’t an athlete, an artist, or just a regular person.
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I made amazing friends my first semester, and becoming a part of greek life really was never on my agenda. I had nothing against it, but the idea of meeting girls I barely knew and them becoming my sisters because we all belong to the same name kind of freaked me out. It seemed extremely surface level and fake, and that’s not what I’m about. It isn’t always like that, but regardless, it’s kind of weird to think about joining an organization to meet other girls you barely know and having to pay to do that.
Obviously some girls join houses not only to meet girls, but to help out with philanthropies and give to the community by events and fundraising. Unfortunately, I had a different experience, and realized it wasn’t really about that at all.
I was urged by my close friends to rush, so without any idea what I was really getting into, I said fuck it and did it. It was a few weeks of constant girl flirting, which felt so fake. I did meet some really awesome girls that I hit it off with, but the whole idea of going to different houses where girls basically are judging you on your ability to be able to girl flirt/seem cool/look pretty kind of grossed me out.
I got into a great house, and I chose that house for a reason. The girl who talked to me in my last round of rushing ended up becoming one of my best friends and still is. But, I’m not here to talk about my house, I’m here to talk about what i’ve experienced in all aspects of Greek life.
Greek life is merely social, in my opinion. You get girls that are really excited to throw and be apart of philanthropies, and you get girls who are forced to be a part of them or else they will get in trouble. If you don’t do this or don’t help out with that, you will be fined. I get it, being part of an organization is a big commitment, and you should join a house in order to meet girls with your similar interests and help the community through philanthropies. It’s about sisterhood. But most girls aren’t involved to help out, they’re involved so they can party. Would Greek life even be a thing if there wasn’t the social aspect? Probably not.
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I’m not going to get into hazing, and I’m sure from recent headlines most people can see that hazing is very much still a thing. Hierarchy is also a huge thing in Greek life. Older girls coming up to you and asking you if you know their name is a huge thing. If you don’t know it, you are passive aggressively called out later on, or sometimes they’ll just just give you a really disgusted and disappointed look and walk away. Joining a house means knowing everyone in it and gaining their respect, it is a privilege to be in that house. F0r some girls, hierarchy is what they’ve been waiting for, because they’ve earned it. Being able to scream at you for not doing things is what they enjoy. That’s not going to bring people together, that’s going to drive them further apart.
For schools that are pretty big on Greek life, people don’t ask you, “Hey, whats your name?” They ask you what house you’re in. Like hi, my name is Delta Kappa Alpha Sig whatever the fuck.
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When it comes to partying, it’s the same old shit. Different events at different frat houses, where girls will all dress in costumes that are either the same exact thing or slightly different. For example, most girls were sexy cats for halloween, I was a hippie stoner with long flare pants and a tie dye shirt with a weed garland. I remember people laughing at me, and not in a mean way, but because it was so out of the ordinary to not dress in a “slutty” costume. Girls go to frats to drink and have fun, they also go to frats to potentially hook up with a guy or guys, and sometimes if they don’t hook up with someone they feel awful at the end of the night, which is really sad because your worth shouldn’t be based on whether or not you hooked up with a guy.
Not everyone in Greek life is considered hot, but if you are, then you’ll thrive! Because that’s a big thing people care about. Any hot girl you see has a reputation that could be completely true or completely false, and people are super quick to judge. In my experience, Greek life is utterly and completely shallow as fuck.
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I never partied a lot or was super involved to begin with, but it got to a point where I needed to take a break because I was confused and felt like being in a house was only adding negativity to my life. I wasn’t allowed to post certain photos, I wasn’t allowed to have my private Instagram, it felt like being out of the ordinary at all was a bad thing, like it wasn’t cool to be your own person. And then I was like, fuck that shit, and pretty much stopped caring.
Being in a house made me realize that some people literally have absolutely no clue what’s going on in the world. It is a bubble filled with the names of frat boys girls have previously fucked and how they hurt them. It’s a bubble filled with drugs and alcohol so you don’t really remember the night and can laugh about it in the morning. It’s a bubble filled with Xanax and “she’s not that pretty in person.” It’s a bubble filled with EDM music and beer. What I’m getting to is that there is literally no substance to what goes on in greek life. If you don’t have someone you are super close to, it can be hard to find someone who is constantly looking out for you because they are in their own world as well.
I felt so separated from the girls I knew, and like nobody wanted to know me for me. I couldn’t sit down with anyone I knew and talk about music or artists or current events. Being in this bubble made me realize how lucky I am to have been born in raised in LA and that I’m able to appreciate things some people in Greek life don’t even think about. I started embracing that I wasn’t like anyone else or super involved because of my hobbies and my own personal struggles. I started focusing more on my art and less on being social and going out. Don’t get me wrong, there are some really awesome people you will meet in Greek life, and I’m sure there are some valuable lessons about sisterhood you will learn, but it takes a lot of getting used to and it isn’t easy.
Basically, I’m thankful for Greek life for showing me that I’m not going to conform to what people think is cool and for showing me how awesome it is to embrace that I’m my own person. Also, hierarchy isn’t cool and it never has been, and that really hit me once I realized how sad it is to see girls screaming at other girls just because they are younger. I’ve never been one to put myself on a pedestal but this really showed me how important and beautiful it is to treat everyone and anyone as your equal.
This is what I’ve experienced, and everyone’s experience is pretty different. For some people, Greek life is the best thing thats ever happened to them. It’s not black or white, but depending on where you go to school, the possibilities are endless. It’s not all bad, but its definitely not that great.