Jealous Of Your Friend’s New Relationship?
Frankie Decaiza Hutchinson is the Online Editor at Galore Magazine. She specializes in slow jams, gold jewelry, fried chicken, and hating. Follow @FrankieFatGold
Stop. If you’re bitter about your friend’s new relationship, it most likely means that there’s a problem between you and your friend.
I don’t get jealous if my friend and I have a happy relationship, If you don’t like your friend, then it’s unlikely that you don’t want something good to happen to them. Humans are horrible and don’t always want the best for other people and people are often friends with people they ultimately don’t like. However when you do develop a strong love for and bond with a friend, I find you’re undoubtedly supportive of a new relationship or any new situation they’re in.
Let’s clarify the distinction between jealousy and hating a friend’s new partner.
Being jealous of your friend is wanting something they have and resenting them for having it because you think you deserve it more. Hating your friends partner is hating your friends partner. However they both manifest themselves very similarly. For instance, once I expressed a dislike for a friends new boo and they turned to me and told me “you’re just jealous” which was frustrating because it was inaccurate but also completely accurate from their perspective. They’re happy: getting laid, getting an ego boost, getting butterflies, all the great initial stuff and I’m trying to hate.
Obviously I was right and they broke up and soon after they apologized for those comments. But I was wrong. People are their own people, you have no control over people’s romantic situation regardless if you’re interfering comes from jealousy or love for them; it’s useless in any respect.
But resentment can naturally accumulate if you start seeing the friend less, they change, they start ignoring you blah blah blah. It’s all very sad isn’t it? Yes, but have some perspective, if the hardest thing you have to go through is not being happy about your friends relationship recognize your life ain’t all that bad. ALSO, we all take turns, some will be jealous of you or hate your partner at some point in your life so you’ll get to revel in that and have your moment. Don’t worry.