I’m Not Yours, I’m Mine
There are a few things that annoy me in life. Alright, maybe the list of things that do not annoy me is shorter, but one of them is definitely friends who disappear when they enter a relationship.
We all have those friends. And they usually don’t believe that they’ve gone MIA. Until the relationship goes up in flames and they want to hang out with you, but aren’t even aware of the fact that you moved to a different country.
I understand being in a relationship is a team effort and you have to put in time and energy and make sacrifices, but why do we have to sacrifice our entire selves? I don’t believe people should lose who they are to be with someone.
And I mean this in terms of throwing every ounce of your life into someone else. Spending less time with friends, focusing less on career goals, investing less energy on yourself, etc. You may think I sound like an extremely selfish person right now, but I’m not.
I just don’t find that giving up on yourself is a wise investment, ever. Yeah, you get a boyfriend and it’s cute that you see each other as one person, but you’re not. You’re two f*cking people with different accomplishments for life.
You are perfectly capable of functioning without the other, but you’re in a relationship to work on growing and supporting each other, individually.
The way I see it, he has his own team and you have yours. There are some days when you are his cheerleader and will support and cheer him on. Then there are days when he attends your game and cheers you on.
People are starting to become stuck in the idea that their significant other deserves every once of their attention and focus. But I’m saying only to some extent. It’s a two way street and if one person is focusing more attention than the other or both are giving too much- then it’s time to reevaluate things.
Because being with someone is a wonderful feeling. But we have to remember to stay true to ourselves and sometimes it’s okay to be selfish to achieve the goals you have or dreams you want to accomplish.
And you’ll know when you’ve found someone worthy of your time when they allow you to chase after the things you want, allow you to play your game in life, and are still there to cheer you on.
And you’ll do the same for him.