7 Ways Your One Night Stand Is The Same As Your Drunk Food
When the bar closes and you’ve had one too many tequila shots, you’re generally going to one of two places. Either home with the dude you met that night… or to the nearest 24 hour pizza joint. While you may favor one or the other, they’re really the same thing. Here’s Why:
1. They both look better when you’re drunk
Waking up next to a solid 6 is a lot like seeing leftover pizza in the fridge the next day… you’re left asking yourself, “I put that near my mouth?!”
2. You immediately regret it the next morning
Whether you’re waking up to some rando’s sweaty arm-pit in your face, or an unfinished slice of buff-chicken, you’re probably questioning last night’s decisions.
3. Sometimes you just pretend it didn’t happen
If you leave his place by 8 am, it doesn’t count right? And neither do carbs after midnight.
4. You vow to stop doing it so much
You tell yourself that waking up with a new dude every morning is not what Audrey Hepburn would do, and that spring break bodies are not built on cheese fries (sadly).
5. You lie to your friends about it
Oh my god… I DID NOT go home with Jake last night, are you kidding?! I’ve also been eating nothing but salads since January, do you see these abs?
6. You go all week without it
I am not uncontrollably horny.. I’m going to wait for Prince Charming to sweep me off my feet anyways, like a classy lady. And classy ladies also don’t eat pizza.. it’s nothing but fresh veggies for lunch all week!
7. But then Friday rolls around.. and you’re back to it.
Just one slice won’t really hurt will it? And everyone knows your sex number doesn’t ACTUALLY matter, right?