5 Signs You’re Secretly Waiting For Your BF To Change
It’s really hard to find a guy who treats you right. So naturally, once you do, you don’t ever want to let him go.
But once you realize that good guys are few and far between, it can be easy to settle for someone who’s a “great guy,” but might not be the great guy for you. Or, he has the potential to be a good guy, so you’re trying to stick it through. Or maybe, you guys had a great few months (or years) together, and now it’s going to shit.
Girl, that’s not a way to live your life.
If you’re unsure whether you’re just having a “rough patch” with bae or you’ve been pushing away your true feelings for too long, here are some surefire signs you’re secretly wishing your boo thang would change.
1. You’ve started a sentence with the phrase “as soon as he,” “if he could just,” or “all he has to do is.”
Everybody can improve, there’s no doubt about that. But when these types of phrases and ways of thinking become a habit, it’s a problem — especially if you’re always saying it about the same type of behavior or issue.
2. You keep focusing on the future instead of the present
It’s fun to plan a future with your boo, but it’s not a good sign if the future is all you’re looking forward to. You want to enjoy the now with them too. Besides, finishing college, moving in together, or getting new jobs isn’t suddenly going to fix your relationship problems, I promise.
3. You feel like he’s an investment
Investments are great when it comes to your bank account (sometimes), but not so great when it comes to people. He shouldn’t feel like a project or a plant that you’re watering to perfection, he’s a human being. Maybe he’ll be a hottie once he graduates from his Taco Bell obsession, or he’ll be a great dad one day since he loves kids, but that’s not a reason to stay in a relationship, sorry girl.
4. You don’t have anything in common besides each other
This is a super common thing that gets talked about in country songs and shit. You know, that all you two are good at is being into each other — or, fucking.
Chemistry and a good sex life are important, but there comes a time when you have to look at the big picture. It’s not fun when the most important person in your life DGAF about the shit you actually care about.
It’s also not lit when you’re consistently getting dragged to places and events you f-ing hate because you have completely different ideas of what fun is. Sure, maybe after a couple months he’ll eventually start accepting your obsession with abstract art and indie music, but wouldn’t it be more fun if you had someone in your life who actually shared those interests?
5. You find yourself saying things like, “well, he makes good money” or “well, he has a good future”
He is not applying to a job and he’s not giving you his résumé! Granted, you can’t base everything on emotions, but you also can’t base everything on “logical” reasons to date someone. Someone could hit every bullet point on your imaginary syllabus for a perfect partner and still not click with you and you’re going to be unhappy.
I know, I know. Then how come the guy who did make you happy was a piece of shit who worked at the mall? Well, you’ve got plenty of time to find someone who makes you happy and has his shit together, I promise!
Getting more serious, if a guy doesn’t treat you right, then the fact that he makes a lot of money doesn’t make that okay. Don’t ever excuse a guy’s abusive or unjust behavior because he has something else you like.
6. You’re staying in it because your parents like him
Okay, no. Are your parents dating him? Are your parents fucking him? Hell to the no. I know it’s hard to find a guy your parents approve of, but if a guy treats you right that’s all that should matter. Plus, your parents get to see his good side at all times. You, on the other hand, may not. Only you know what can make you truly happy.