Ask Yourself This 1 Question to See if You’re Ready For a Relationship
Sometimes it can be tough to tell whether it’s time for you to settle down or not.
At 5 p.m., maybe you’re single and loving it. You’re sipping margaritas with our girls at happy hour, scrolling through Tinder mindlessly, and thinking about how happy you are that you don’t have anybody to worry about.
At 11 a.m. the next morning, you desperately want a boyfriend. Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone to stay in bed with all day? Especially if that someone could make you chocolate chip pancakes shirtless while you wile away your hangover in bed.
Whether you want a boyfriend or are married to the single life, one thing is for sure: it seems that you never find a relationship when you’re actively searching for one. You may think it’s because of “fate” and that love comes to you when you are ready, but we’re going to call bullshit on that one.
In reality, the reason you never find a boyfriend when you’re looking for one is because often, the times when you’re looking for someone are generally when you’re feeling pretty shitty about yourself.
Think about it, when you’re killing it in your career, feeling healthy, and having a great time with your friends, are you wishing you had a boyfriend? Absolutely not. It’s when you’re drunk, unsure of the next step in your life, bored, or feeling bad about yourself that you wish you had Prince Charming to make it all better.
Maria Avgitidis, founder of Agape Match (which was named the best matchmaking service in NYC by CBS News), has been a dating coach for over eight years. She says that in order to succeed in finding a happy relationship, you have to know the answer to one question: would I date me?
You should ask yourself this question before you even consider looking for a new boo.
“If the answer is no, take a break and try to get to your 100%. So many people enter unhealthy relationships out of sheer loneliness. You don’t want to date the person that was attracted to you at your low points.”
While the idea of finding someone who will accept all of your flaws is attractive, it’s even more attractive to find someone who pushes you to do your best. You can aspire to be a power couple so strong that you’ll make Beyonce and Jay Z jealous. Not to mention that you don’t want to attract someone who preys on your weaknesses and takes advantage of you at your vulnerable state, Maria pointed out.
If you’re not 100% feeling yourself but you still feel tempted to go out with someone new, take a minute to work on your own happiness before you bring someone else into the mix.
“So many people enter unhealthy relationships out of sheer loneliness,” Maria said. “You don’t want to date the person that was attracted to you at your low points.