How To Have Sex In Public & Not Get Caught
Ah, summertime. If you’re not holed up in your room with an AC unit and Netflix, you’re probably spending most of your time outside enjoying the weather. If you’re lucky enough to have a summer f*ck buddy or boo, you’ve probably been wondering how romantic beach sex really is, or if you could get a little naughty in that garden down the street. Maybe you’re just missing those times when you and your high school boyfriend would f*ck in his car in a desperate attempt to get naughty without one of your parents walking in on you. Either way, public sex is fun for everyone (except for the little girl who accidentally walks up and sees you two going at it doggy style) here are some tips on how to do it right:
1. Dress Accordingly
This should be kind of obvious. A dress or a skirt means easy access (bonus points if you choose to opt out of wearing panties). There’s no way in hell you can discreetly strip out of your shorts (or god forbid, a romper) in public for a quickie. If you’re the type whose wardrobe consists of all black, great. If you’re not, you might want to consider that you’re cute bright pink crop top is going to stick out like a neon sign among the bushes while you’re getting railed.
2. Take Baby Steps
Don’t decide to have your first public sex-capade in a crowded shopping mall. Try a dressing room, a secluded spot in the woods, or a closed golf course. Practice makes perfect, always. You don’t want to get all hot and bothered and then end your outdoor romp in the back of a cop car…
3. Choose your audience
Speaking of cops, they are one of the main types of people that will f*ck you over for public exposure (believe me, I’ve been there). Even if cops aren’t a worry for you, there are certain places where audiences will be more “receptive” to finding a dude going balls deep in public. Places like a concert or a club are a lot less dangerous than say, trying to get it on in a children’s playground (unless you want to be a registered sex offender, of course).
4. Find a Third Leg
No, not your dude’s dick (sadly). I mean find something to support yourself on. You’re clearly not going to be lying down during this sex, and while there are positions that you can do without any sort of thing holding you up, they are minimal and sometimes hard to stay in for longer than 10 seconds. Personally, I think the easiest position is a variation of doggy style. Unless you want to get on your hands and knees in the dirt, then find a nice fence, rock, wall, etc. to lean against while you do the dirty.
5. Mentally Prepare Yourself
As much as foreplay is the key to great sex 99% of the time, sex in public is one of the few times you may have to skip it. If you’re spending an entire hour getting eaten out under a picnic table, you’re much more likely to be caught. Use the time leading up to sex to think about the things that turn you on the most (whether they include your partner or not). Dirty talk is always a good way to get each other excited without actually whipping out his dick in a public area.
6. Have Fun!
The reason you’re having sex in public in the first place is because you want a little adventure and the thrill of getting off when other people could possibly see you (or because you’re so horny you can’t wait until you get home). Don’t do it if you’re not comfortable, because there’s no way you’ll orgasm that way.