6 Ways To Have (Good) Sex At Coachella
1. Forget The Romance
If you wanted to “make love” you would be in a hotel room right now. But no, you’re at a music festival, in a desert, with a dude you just met. This is going to be some casual f*cking and/or quickies with or without the influence of drugs and alcohol. You wanted to get laid, so get laid, but don’t expect lighted candles or Marvin Gaye in the background.
If you’re planning on having some intimate time together, you better have brought your own tent. This isn’t some college party where you want to sneak into some rando’s bedroom to get laid, this is a festival- and god knows what’s going on in a stranger’s tent.
3. Baby Wipes Are Your New Best Friend
In a place where water becomes a luxury, baby wipes are crucial. Try to plan ahead and get into the shower lines before everyone else is going (aka wake up early). If that fails, at least do a hippie-shower with some baby wipes. Because after sweating all day, you’re going to be nasty – do you like sweaty balls in your face? Me neither. But on that note…
4. Embrace The Grime
Although you can “cleanse” yourself with baby wipes all you want (and maybe get a shower or two in), you’re still probably going to be covered in sweat, sand, dirt, beer, and you name it. If you’re going to f*ck at this festival, it’s going to be dirty – and not in the sexy Christina Aguilera way. If you want to keep it somewhat sanitary, try to get it in earlier rather than later.
5. Don’t Wake Your Neighbors
Make friends with the tents around you! I mean, at least having the courtesy to not wake them up with your loud moaning at 6 am.
6. Do It In The Dark
As much as an advocate as I am for leaving the lights on during sex, DON’T leave your flashlights on during sex in your tent. I mean, unless you want people walking by and laughing at you and your partner’s doggy style silhouette against the tent…