How To Do Time Management: The Irresponsible College Student Edition

It’s almost one month back to school folks and already I have had one mental breakdown, two missed appointment and three more shots of espresso in a day than can be socially accepted as healthy. The good news? I am getting everything done. My homework is on time, I manage an internship on top of a full course load and my weekends are spent alternating between working and getting drunk. But that’s ok because I am getting an Education. Want to learn how you to can manage (emotionally and practically) your over scheduled adult life? Here are a few tips!

Accept That You No Longer Have Time To Enjoy Food

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A processed granola bar is now your breakfast, lunch and dinner. That kitchen you have in your dorm room? Mostly used for storing your alcohol. Remember sit down meals? Well, it is best you learn to forget because the closest thing to that you will be experiencing is sneaking bites of your Clif bar under your desk in class.

Sleep Only When You Are Dead

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In college, you must choose two out of three: Sleep, social life, school. Well you are paying enough for school so obviously you must give up sleep. Your social life probably sucks just as hard but you might as well put as much effort into that as you can because these are the people who you will probably have to be working alongside post graduation.

Meet Your New Friend Caffeine (and adderal)

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Well, since you have already given up sleep and nourishment in order to finish this assignment, you will need as much external energy as you can manage, so let’s hope you have a Starbucks station in your college cafeteria. And a friend with ADHD.

Learn To Flake Out On Your Prior Engagements

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Because no matter how hard you try to maintain some sort of social presence, you will inevitably have either left a homework assignment undone, have passed out and slept through your plans or some horrible combination of the two. So, hopefully your apology cakes are delicious.

Cry

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All the time. A lot. You need to.


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