How To Choose Your Halloween Hook-Up Based On His Costume

We know, we know; Halloween is the one time of the year where a girl can dress like a complete skank and nobody else can say anything about it, right? But, while you’re trying to think of a creative way to show off all those squats you’ve been doing that doesn’t involve the cat ears that 90% of your friends are going to wear, we’ve been busy thinking of what the boys are being for Halloween this year. Although unfortunately most guys throw on a random hat that they find in their closet and call it a night, we’ve made a list of who to approach and who to avoid this Halloween based on their costume.


The Sexual Costume: We get it, us girls are being provocative too, so guys want to join in on the fun. These costumes come in many forms, and can vary from guys dressed as condoms and kissing booths, to straight up dick costumes (yes, like full on penis suit). While we would hate to generalize a guy who could really just have a dirty sense of humor, we advise you not to take this dude home. Besides, how do you think you’re going to look walking out of the club with a life size penis?

Photo courtesy of Total Frat Move

The Group Costume: Guys are all about their bros (sometimes a little too much, although we do appreciate a nice bromance). While group costumes have many variations, a guy in a group costume is one that is loyal to his friends and may very well be loyal to you (or at least for the night, anyways). As a bonus, if you’re out on Halloween in a group costume with your girls, you and said group of guys can all have a good time together…just make sure to call dibs on the cutest one first!


The Athlete Costume: By “athlete” we mean those guys who throw on their favorite team’s jersey that they already had laying around their room and call it a costume. Some girls may not mind this, especially if the guy’s biceps are bulging out of his Lakers jersey like it’s nobodies business, but I do. You think I wanted to spend all October planning my costume so that I could settle for a dude who doesn’t even bother to wear one? No, thank you.


The Cross-Dresser: Surprisingly, I have seen many sexy dudes with this get up. Although you probably aren’t too keen on making out with a guy in a dress (or maybe you are?), this guy might actually be a good bet. By dressing as a girl, he is showing that his sole purpose for going out isn’t to get pussy, because he is most likely deterring his chances by wearing a skirt. Not to mention that he clearly doesn’t have the fragile masculinity issue that many dudes seem to have.He’s also probably pretty funny, so don’t leave this guy out just because he looks like a bad RuPaul. Besides, maybe you can wear his costume on your walk of shame the next morning instead of your slutty devil costume?


The Show-Off: This costume is basically a dude taking a page out of the girls’ book and wearing as little clothing as possible. Chances are, this guy has a great body and wants to show it off, which is never a bad thing in our book. He also probably has more of a dedication to the gym then he will to you. However, if you’re looking for a hot Halloween treat that will disappear as soon as November begins, please enjoy.


The Pop Culture Costume:: This guy went all out, and we admire his effort. Plus, he probably is dressing up as something he’s interested in and/or is current in pop culture. If he’s dressed as Walter White, you can bond over your love for Breaking Bad. And then you can break some more bad later that night…


The Classic: If it’s not broken, don’t fix it, right? A classic costume would be something like a superhero, an astronaut, or perhaps a character from the Mario series of video games (holler at us, Luigi). This guy’s fair game, and at least put a decent amount of effort into his costume. He may even get points for going green and recycling his props from his middle school Batman costume?


Cover photo courtesy of Huffington Post

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