How Halloween Chocolate Might Actually Get You Laid

When you’re an adult Halloween means three things: chocolate, costumes, and getting laid. I mean getting laid is a year-round thing, but on Halloween especially, our fetishes are actually encouraged. Like Cady Heron says in Mean Girls, “Halloween is the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a total *  and no other girls can say anything else about it.” Nailed it. So far we know that costumes and getting laid are connected in the adult Halloween trifecta, but what about chocolate? If chocolate is an aphrodisiac like what they say, then it would be like the sexiest accessory to our sexy costumes right?

Chocolate is believed to be an aphrodisiac because it has chemicals in its make-up that are also found in the human body that are involved with arousal and falling in love. However, the amount of those chemicals in the chocolate is not enough to have any noticeable affect on us, according to the NY Times. In fact, none of the foods we think are aphrodisiacs are actually aphrodisiacs. Oysters, like chocolate, have chemicals that heighten arousal, but not enough to have an impact on us. In fact, foods like oysters and rhinoceros horn have been ingested for centuries for arousal because they look like human organs, but they don’t actually do anything. Bummer.

Basically, if you’re in need of a little help getting something going, don’t look to certain foods just cause they look like your boyfriends dick. The only real affect they have on us is they taste good and we feel good when we eat them, which can put us in a mood; but there is no actual chemical reaction that causes sexual arousal. If Halloween rolls around and your sweaty caveman or lingerie-wearing girlfriend with animal ears doesn’t want to end the night with tricks or treats maybe they need something a bit stronger than chocolate. And no, I don’t mean alcohol.

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