This Is How Girls Do A Booty Call

I’m a huge activist of eliminating the double-standard when it comes to sex, but unfortunately us girls are still working on how to act more like a dude when it comes to hook-ups. That being said, although we take initiative when we decide to booty-call our latest hook-up, sometimes we aren’t so smooth…Here are 6 tried and true moves that girls use during the time-honored tradition of the booty call.

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This Is The Best Way To Avoid Drunk Booty Calls

1. We Rely On Alcohol

Although we say we’re proud and horny, the majority of us will still not booty call someone sober unless we’re super comfortable with the dude. That way, if he doesn’t respond or rejects us, we can just pretend we have no recollection of said text message.

Read: What Your Drunk Text Says About You

2. We Use Euphemisms

Sorry, but as much as us girls make fun of dudes for inviting us over to “watch a movie” or “hangout,” we do the same shit. Because something about texting a dude, “Hey, want to come stick your penis in me?” doesn’t have the same ring to it.

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3. You Snooze, You Lose

The fact that we’re booty-calling guys when we’re drunk, means that there is definitely a time window where that offer will expire. If I were to make up statistics, I would say that 1 out of 3 college chicks have woken up in all their clothes with a bunch of missed calls from a dude they asked to come over the night before…oops?

Read: 7 Reasons Why Drunk Sex Is Overrated 

4. The Early Bird Gets The Worm

Us ladies like plans and order. If we could, we would write down our next booty call’s name in cursive in our Lilly planner, but unfortunately you boys suck at being reliable. If you wait too late to hit us back, we’ve probably either already taken all of our makeup off, or already dove headfirst into a plate of cheese fries- sorry.

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Read: Why Your Drunk Food and Booty Call Are The Same

5. We’re Not Making You Breakfast

Boys always complain that chicks stay over too long in the morning after sex, but I have found quite the opposite. A lot of chicks I know are early risers, and have to deal with a random boy in their bed who doesn’t wake up till 2 pm. I’m not saying we’re not down for a little bit of morning cuddling, and certainly some morning sex, but if we miss our yoga class at 12- we’re gonna be pissed.

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6. Our Friends Will Probably Know About It Before You Leave

Again, you know all those boys who take “Shacker Sunday” pics of girls in their bed and submit them to TFM? Yeah, girls are wayyyyy better at that, we just keep it to ourselves- and our six closest friends. Hope you put on a good performance, because if you farted in your sleep or broke a lamp mid thrust- her friends will all know about it as soon as it happens.

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