8 Reasons Why Finals Are Like A Really Bad Boyfreind
As spring is coming into full bloom, so are the tears from various students as they try to cram an entire semester’s worth of work into a week. While coffee and energy drinks are taking over your room and your lab partner suddenly looks more attractive as he offers to do more of the workload, you realize that your finals and your terrible boyfriend are one in the same – just another hurdle between you and a great summer vacation. Unlike your terrible guy, you can’t break up with finals (I guess you could drop out, but NO!).
They’re needy – like super clingy kind of needy, they demand all of your time and attention. There are other things that demand attention in your life, like finding a better boyfriend.
They give you headaches – Ugh, seriously I don’t care about the rangers nearly as much as I don’t care about Finance 101. Why does it matter if my IRA is up if I’m going to be a billionaire and be able to pay someone to know that.
They take you away from your friends – yes, I know you don’t have friends, but why does that mean I shouldn’t see mine. (I’m still talking about you Finance 101).
They stress you out – please, please, go away, both of you.
You find yourself dabbling in hard liquor – they really make you want tequila, good ol’ tequila doesn’t ask anything from you, not a 10 page paper nor, a blow jay. Where’s the tequila!?
You’re not in the mood but they are – your boyfriend is in the mood to f**** you, just like your final, but you’re not in the mood for either of them. Seriously, just go away.
They leave you hanging – your final won’t have anything that was on the study guide, the same way that your shitty boyfriend won’t answer your text, but will post on Insta (why is he your boyfriend again?).
They make you sweat – Just as you’d worry about all the small stuff: ‘is my hair good enough,’ ‘will he like this skirt?’ ‘Did I study enough for this final?’ ‘Is this even right?’ ‘Who invented this class?!!’