How Do You Go on a First Date With Your Ex?
This title may have confused you. How are you going to go on a first date with someone you’ve already dated? That’s true, you can’t really. But in essence, you can.
We all have that “one who got away” (if you don’t, consider yourself lucky). As much as we hate to admit it, we still have that sliver of hope in our minds that one day at a different time and a different place, we’ll meet again and things will be perfect like they were once upon a time and we’ll live happily ever after.
Unfortunately (or fortunately maybe?) this doesn’t usually happen. But, what if it does?
My friend approached me asking for advice the other day about a boy she used to date. She had broken up with him a couple summers ago, but found herself thinking about him lately when she realized she has only met a**holes lately. Shockingly, they ended up snap-chatting, then talking, and now he’s coming to town for about a week and wants to see her.
Is this a horrible idea? I really don’t think it is. While I generally bar someone’s door shut when they say they want to call their ex, I think this is a different situation.
First off, she broke up with him. Second off, it’s been two years.
However, she does have certain worries. One being that she isn’t the same girl she was two years ago. She’s spent the last year abroad, and grown mentally and physically in the process. She’s worried that they’ll meet up and she’ll feel for him again, and he might not feel the same way. Or on the reverse side, that they’ll both feel for each other, but what’s the point when they aren’t going to be in the same country anymore?
So what did I tell her? What’s the worst that could happen? You certainly have a couple scenarios that might not exactly scream “happily every after” but it’s not a death sentence either. What will most likely happen is that she’ll meet up with him and feel some closure. In her head she might be imagining her ex as the answer to all her problems. However when she sees him she’ll likely remember why she broke up with him in the first place and that they’re completely different people now.
If she does develop feelings for him, they’re only going to be able to see each other for four freaking days. Maybe it’s because I don’t believe in love at first sight, but if it takes you four days to like somebody, it shouldn’t be too hard to get over them. Sure, it might suck to fall for someone and have to say goodbye in a matter of days, but isn’t that what summer flings are all about?
Better than to loved and lost, than never loved at all? Right? Or at least f*cked and lost? I’m sure even if she’s not into him, his love-making game will have improved in two years. Sounds like a win-win for everybody 🙂