So, Who’s Having Sex These Days Anyway?

Back in the 90s (or maybe just in the movies) the worst thing you could be was a virgin, who can’t drive. Does that hold true today? We asked six girls to tell us their virginity status, why they lost it, why they didn’t, what it was like, and whether they’ll still keep doing it.


CHELSEA WILLIAMS, 17, Grand Rapids, MI

Status: Virgin

She said: “Having sex at my age will just get in the way of what I’m trying to accomplish in life. I need to get good grades, graduate and get into college. That is the only thing on my mind. So far all the guys I’ve been on dates with have shown me the upmost respect, but I think they don’t know what they’e getting into when they ask me out.”


Status: Sexually active

She said: “My first boyfriend was 16, when I was 14. He would tell me things like, “When you smile my hear melts”. I thought he really loved me , but when I think about it now, I know it wasn’t. I dated him  for a month and we never used protection. I know about safe sex, but he just really made me feel so comfortable all the time that I thought I didn’t have to. After we broke up, I kept looking to date older guys like him.”

ALEXIS SCHMIDT, 19, Charlottesville, VA

Status: Celibate/Non-virgin

She said: “I had sort-of been with the same guy since junior year in high school. We were neighbors and our parents were friends, so it was the type of relationship that our parents encouraged since they thought it was cute. One day after school, I went to his  house and he just told me all the right things—we started to kiss, and the next thing you know, he was inside me. We used a condom, and the sex was great and I felt connected to him. But the week after, he being sweet to me. We only kept having sex, since it made me feel like he wanted me, but that summer, I left on vacation with my family. While I was away, my friends told me he’d cheated on me with another girl. I confronted him about it, and he denied the whole thing, but I told him it was over—I didn’t trust him. Since then, I haven’t been with anyone else.”

LATOYA SULLIVAN, 17, Silver Springs, MD

Status: Virgin

She said: “Being a virgin has a lot to do with my upbringing as a preacher’s daughter. I was raised to have strong morals and respect for my body and to honor the union of marriage. I was in the 8th grade by the time boys started to notice my body a lot—I began to question a lot of things. I wanted to date, but my dad is pretty strict with me most of the time. My parents trust me and I don’t want to hurt anyone, or hurt myself—sex is a scary thing! I’ve heard all the horror stories about STDS, and I know I just don’t want to become a statistic in my community. I’ll wait until I’m married, for sure.”


Status: Sexually Active

She said: “I’ve just started dating my first real boyfriend. We met at a shop in town, where he worked as a cashier. He was gorgeous, and I’d already known him from Instagram, so I felt like I knew him. We talked for a bit, and he asked me if I wanted to hang out afterwards. We met at the beach, and talked for hours—he loves documentaries and nature films just as much as I do. He’s the same age as I am, so I was pretty surprised that he asked me if I’d ever had sex pretty immediately. I said no. He leaned in for a kiss and I let him kiss me. We got naked and ended up having sex in the sand. It was a bit awkward and uncomfortable. We used a condom it hurt and felt good at the same time. After we said goodbye, he got my number and I went home. I couldn’t stop repeating “I’m not a virgin anymore” to myself afterwards.”

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