16 Things That Horny Girls Will Understand

Boys will be boys, right? And boys are expected to jack off everyday, drool over a girl with big tits, and try to f*** anything that walks. What about us girls? Sugar and spice and everything nice? Nah… more like humans with the same desires as men… or at least some of us…

Galore_Snooki

1. Trying To Schedule You Masturbating Around Your Roommate 

Hm… she gets back from work in 20 minutes…do I, or don’t I?

2. Not Shaving In Attempts To Stop Yourself From Having Sex

Great plan! If you don’t shave, then you won’t let a dude go down there because you’ll be self conscious, right? Unfortunately, usually you get drunk and forget and end up getting down anyways… albeit with your less than porn-star perfect pussy.

3. One Sip of Alcohol, and All You Can Think About is Dick

After a certain point in the night, your “beer-goggles” are more like “dick-goggles.” Who are you going to go home with? There must be somebody acceptable in this shitty dive bar..

Galore_Donnie_Darko

4. You Wish Afternoon Delights Were More Socially Acceptable

Why is that booty-calls are all designated to after midnight? Can’t a chick get some mid-day-nookie around here?

5. You Survey New Locations Based on Where You Can Have Sex

You specifically chose your bedroom based on the floor length mirror on one wall and the perfect bed-posts to be cuffed to.

6. You Always Get Turned On in the Most Inappropriate Places

It’s easy to day-dream… especially somewhere boring like the office or the train. I’m not saying I have masturbated in an Amtrak bathroom before, but I’m also not saying that I haven’t.

Galore_Samantha_Masturbating

7. Hot Guy=Immediately Undressed With Your Eyes

When you spot a hottie, you can’t help yourself from mentally imagining him with his shirt off, and how much he’s packing down below… not to mention fantasizing about what he’d look like on top of you.

8. You Can’t Listen to The Weeknd Without Getting Wet

I mean come on… Have you heard his “Or Nah” remix?

9. Produce Gets You a Little Too Excited Sometimes

How can you not appreciate the awesome-ness of when Whole Foods has HUGE bananas though?!

Galore_Mag_Banana_Comic

10. Guys Can’t Keep Up With Your Sex Drive

Unlike dudes, chicks don’t need 10 minutes between round one and two. Keep up!

11. You’re Thankful Chicks Don’t Get Boners

As if your life needed to be any more awkward…

12. When You Hear the Word “Hard” You Automatically Think of a Dick

I mean… what else?

13. You Get Happy For Your Friends When They Get Laid

Hey, even if you didn’t get laid, you can at least live vicariously.

14. And When You Get Laid, your Mood is 100x Better

Sex gives you endorphins, and endorphins make you happy!

galore_the_Lonely_Island

15. You’d Rather Guys Tell it Like it is

Because “I want to f*** you so bad” gets you going way more than “you’re beautiful.”

16. There’s No Shame In Taking Initiative

If it’s late and you’re drunk, there have definitely been instances when you’ve gone straight up to a dude and said “let’s go.”

Galore_Cruel_Intentions

 

Gimme More Sex + Dating

Do You Like?

Some things are only found on Facebook. Don't miss out.