6 Reasons Why You Don’t Need A V-Day Date

The ever-ominous Valentine’s Day is upon us.

My roommate is busy planning what she’s going to cook for her boyfriend and asking if she can have the apartment to herself, my guy friends are asking me what the protocol is on taking their f***-buddies to dinner, and what am I doing? Oh yes, confirming my reservations at Fig & Olive with for an $80 prix-fixe dinner with my best girlfriend.

If you feel embarrassed about wanting to get a little lovey-dovey with your best-friend/soulmate on Valentine’s Day, here’s why you shouldn’t.

1. You can eat whatever the f*** you want


I can’t deny my eating habits are slightly altered on a date. After all, if a guy is paying, I’m probably not going to order the $60 prime rib as my entree. Likewise, if he’s not getting a third glass of wine, I probably won’t either. When you go out with your girl, all bets are off. If you’re both dieting for spring break, you don’t have to feel lame for getting a salad. However, if you’re celebrating your unrequited love for one another, you can order three f***ing desserts and spoon-feed them to each other while polishing off that third bottle of wine.

2. You can wear whatever the f*** you want


I’ve always been very free-spirited when it comes to my wardrobe. So free-spirited, that I actually find myself struggling to pick an outfit for a first date. Not because I’m trying to “wow” him, but because I’m trying to find something more conservative than my usual get-up so that he doesn’t think I’m DTF after only one drink. Going out with my friend, I have no reservations about being over-dressed (even if we’re not going to a super nice place), because I can tell her that I want her to dress up too. If I want to look like a bum and “forget” to wash my hair? That’s fine too. (Although getting all dolled up on V-Day is half the fun if you ask me)

3. No sex-pectations


Some people feel lonely on V-Day, and are getting desperate. You’re talking to a chick who accidentally said yes to a Tinder date on Valentine’s Day two years ago (although I admit, it wasn’t so bad), and got asked to dinner by the guy she was casually hooking up with the year before. Relationships are confusing as shit these days! And things can get kind of awkward if your date takes you to a 5-star steakhouse when you have no intentions of sleeping with him after his one-minute monologue on the importance of animal rights.

4. You can shamelessly judge everyone else that’s on an ACTUAL date


What are you and your best friend great at? Shit-talking other people of course! If you’re looking for a good place to people watch, a nice restaurant on Valentine’s Day is the spot. Check out that dude who’s on Tinder under the table while his date talks for hours. How about the woman wearing a floor-length wannabe prom dress? Nothing wrong with playing mock fashion-police while simultaneously remembering how awesome it is to be single.

5. You always know where your date stands


Is tonight the night he’s going to tell you he loves you? Is he secretly forming a get-a-way plan in his head so he can skip out on dessert? With your best bitch, there’s no guessing. If my best friend wants to get drunk and try to cuddle me while saying how much she loves me all night, she can. If we decide dinner is lame and want to hit the bar after, we can do that too.

6. You’ll be together forever


Ah, what’s that wonderful phrase I found on a Myspace icon in ’06? Oh yes, “friends are forever, boys are whatever.” Hate to say it, but it’s f***ing true. When you’re spending this special day with your best friend, there won’t be any throwing away heart-shaped teddy bears come March, or bad memories on the following V-Day.

Gimme More Sex + Dating

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