Who Needs Ghosts When You Can Have A Pizza Séance?
If you’ve ever performed a séance, then you know what a let down they can be. No matter how many candles you light or how many websites you turn to for helpful hints, nothing ever happens (besides that one time your friend Nicki got really drunk and took her shirt off). Just like when you were eight and all of your friends were taking trips to the bathroom during summer camp to stare into the mirror and chant ‘Bloody Mary‘ three times – once you’ve done it once, you’re pretty much set.
But what’s a girl to do when it’s Saturday night and she’s all alone plagued with doubts and uncertainties about whether or not she should have eaten that M&M that fell on the ground, should she have slept with that guy she met at the bar on the first date and most importantly, will she ever get to meet Drake?
What if she’s scared of ghosts or lives in a newly constructed apartment and can’t go to a cemetary because she lost her Metrocard and doesn’t get paid until Monday? Thankfully, Maddy Varner has come up with an alternative, and apparently it’s 100% effective. Say goodbye to spooky ghosts and hello to a large cheese with extra pepperoni.
Step #1: Log on to your FAV Pizza Site
Order any size pizza with any topping one topping of your choice. Then, scroll down to the Special Instructions tab and type in the following message: arrange the [insert your choice of topping here] in a ‘Y’, ‘M’, or ‘N’ shape. You can even through in a ‘please’ or a ‘thank you’ if you’re feeling especially polite.
Step #2: Prepare to be enlightened
Once your pizza comes, and you’ve made sure to tip your “pizza oracle,” gather your friends, real or imaginary, around the box, chanting your question loudly and slowly raising the lid of the box because the anticipation is over half the fun with these things.
Step #3: Find enlightenment
Look at your pizza. You have your answer.
Mmmhm. Enlightenment never tasted so good.