6 Guys You’ll Make Out With Over Memorial Day Weekend
Memorial Day Weekend might as well be the orgasm you never knew you asked for.
While Memorial Day is technically forÂ remembering the fallen soldiers who have died for our country, somewhere down the line people decided it was also a great reason to throw some meat on the grill and chug 10 beers.
If you’ll be celebrating this weekend by visiting a memorial, kudos to you. If not, you’re likely driving down to the beach in hopes of getting wasted on margaritas and making out with a cute lifeguard â€” or one of these six dudes.
1. The Surfer Bro
He’s probably a self-titled “local” and has longer hair than you. After crushing an entire cooler of Lime-a-Ritas all day, you think he’s the sexiest thing on the planet. While his coconut scented locks may draw you in, you may be a little less enthused when you wake up on the couch of a surf shop with him the next morning.
2. The Guido
As much as we all would like to leave orange-tans and dudes with spiked hair in 2008, the Jersey Shore still exists, and you may be going there this weekend â€” which means you might meet a mythical Guido. Once you get over the accent and the tribal tattoos, though, you’ll notice that this dude has some sweet biceps. Not to mention that he somehow has enough cash to keep buying you dirty bananas all day (guess he doesn’t work at a T-shirt shop), plus he definitely has the G in GTL down pat.
3. The Old “Friend”
If you’ve been going to the same beach since you were young, you probably know tons of people down there. Perhaps you’ll run into that dude you used to crush on when you’re out at the beach bar, or maybe your ex-summer fling will text you asking to “catch up.” Either way, you’ll probably regret the decision when you sober up.
4.The Guy Who Might Be Your Dad’s Age
You decide that heading to a family BBQ with your roomie is harmless. Unfortunately, you had no idea how hard your roomie’s family parties. After countless sangrias, you find yourself having a heart to heart with some dude who is probably 50. He looks like Pierce Brosnan, so you’re into it… you just hope he’s not related to your roomie.
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5. The Guy Who May Not Be Legal
If you don’t find yourself getting hot and heavy with a silver fox, you may find yourself preying on a young buck. While he said that he was a 23-year-old senior in college, the truth comes out when he inevitably gets carded in the beach bar and you come to find that he’s actually an 18-year-old senior in high school… yikes. But don’t get too worried about it, at least it was legal, and if Demi Moore can be a cougar, so can you.
6. The Guy Who Deserves It
If you’re going to have a one night stand this weekend, please, have a one night stand with a man (or woman) that is serving our country! After all, if they can dedicate their lives to protecting our nation, you can dedicate one night to pleasing that D.