13 of The Dumbest Deal Breakers Guys Claim To Have
Everybody has their deal breakers. Some are semi-valid, like wanting to date someone who has similar eating habits and workout preferences as you, or someone who knows how to distinguish between “fake news” and real news.
But sometimes, we get a little carried away. We set our dating app preferences to only show only brown-haired dudes over 6’0″, or we dump a guy because we just can’t get over the fact that he sleeps in socks.
But for every dumb deal breaker we have, there’s a guy out there who has an even more ridiculous one. We scoured Reddit for some of the most ridiculous — not to mention misogynistic — deal breakers that dudes claimed to have.
I say “claim to have,” because so many guys seem to have a ton of deal breakers until they realized an attractive girl is actually into them or that they have a shot at getting laid. Then, they throw the rule book out the window.
1. Posting Food Pics
Reddit bro bropeza just can’t bear the burden of dating a girl who has an “obsession with outward appearance (i.e. Instagramming food and shit).”
Kind of confusing, because most people don’t associate taking pictures of food as an obsession with outward appearances, but clearly a foodie blogger broke his heart, so let him mourn in his own way.
2. Having a Fully Developed Nose
Redditor Rubberrobby‘s are simple: “Smoking, septums.”
The only problem is, he means septum piercings, not just septums. Unless he has a fetish for girls with one big nostril instead of two little ones?
Ignoring his poor English, this deal breaker is still dumb af.
3. Leaving The House To See Other People
“[Someone is a deal breaker if she is] addicted to social media [or is into] frequent clubbing/parties,” proclaimed Reddit user Clyde_Died. “I don’t mind drugs or alcohol, but the social butterfly thing is a turnoff. Dated too many party girls.”
Again, this might be a language barrier, because as another Reddit user pointed out, this dude is basically saying he doesn’t mind if someone is into drugs and alcohol, as long as they do drugs and drink alone.
Generally, this would be more concerning, but I guess this bro is just really possessive? Can’t think of another reason why you’d look at “social butterflies” as being evil.
4. Spider Tats
There’s nothing like a guy who tells you what to put on your body, am I right?
“I’m not a fan of tattoos, but I can tolerate some,” said Reddit user cajungator3. “However, if you have a spider tattoo, you’ve gone beyond my personal tolerance.”
God forbid your spider tattoo scares this little boy!
5. Being a Bad Driver
Sometimes it’s the little things.
“[It’s a deal breaker] if she didn’t signal when merging into other lanes [and] if she cut the lines at freeway mergers,” said Reddit user AntiCamper.
Good luck finding this out about a girl on a first date.
6. Not Being a Virgin
If you know anything about Reddit dudes, or dudes in general, you know that they all secretly wish they could be the first dick a girl has taken because, you know, fragile masculinity.
“[My deal breaker is] someone who has slept with a ton of guys,” said Reddit user TX-SC.
7. Being Emo, I Guess
In a statement that I take as a personal attack, Reddit user ferrarifan basically said he won’t date emo girls.
“I have two [deal breakers]. Dyed hair (pink, bright blue),” he says. “Girls who are excessively into rock. Being a fan is fine, I’m talking about the ones who like to wear Nirvana and Blink shirts for everyday wear. These two things tell me a lot about a chick’s personality. Yes, I do judge books by their cover most of the time.”
JK, I don’t take this as a personal attack because I had to correct, like, five typos in his post so he’s clearly not a catch.
8. Not Being a Doormat
Ah, an all time favorite deal breaker of Reddit bros everywhere.
“A feminist or at least feminist leaning [is a deal breaker],” said user Personage1.
Don’t you hate it when your girlfriend actually has an opinion on things and dares to think she has the same rights as someone with a penis?
9. Dating a Bro
Okay, what would you rather have to deal with? A guy who dated an attractive, awesome girl before you, or a dude who dated a loser?
I think we can all agree we’d prefer the latter so we never have to worry about the ex popping back up, but guys disagree. In fact, plenty of dudes seem to care a lot about a girls’ previous boyfriends.
“What would I consider a deal breaker that would piss off most women? Having been a slut anywhere in the past, having dated people I don’t respect (i.e. ‘rappers’ or gypsies or bros), [and showing] any sign of typical modern feminism,” said one Reddit user who has since deleted his account.
Another user had a similarly bizarre standard.
“If the girl has dated shitty men in the past [it’s a deal breaker],” said Reddit user Stevenson123. “It makes me completely lose interest in her. It’s like, if this girl has no standards, how could she be worth dating?”
Well, honey, if she had standards, she wouldn’t be interested in you! Can’t a girl make a dating mistake in the past?
10. Having The Hots For Harry
“If she is obsessed with Harry Potter then I’m out,” said Reddit user past_is_prologue.
11. Wearing Makeup
“I don’t like people who commonly use makeup,” said Reddit user Maldevinine. “They do not look like real people when I look at them. Yes ladies, I know what makeup look like, and I know what human skin is meant to look like. If you don’t look human, I’m not interested.”
Tough crowd! If you’re trying to date this eligible bachelor, you better also quit shaving any parts of your body, and maybe stop cutting your nails while you’re at it. After all, he wants you to look like a natural human!
12. Being Smarter Than Him
“If she’s smarter than me. I’ve tried it, it bothers me. I’m not saying I want a dummy, but I don’t want a genius either. Is it my shortcomming? Yes. Does it change how I feel? Not really.” – rbz90
If you know how to spell “shortcoming” properly, steer clear of this catch.
13. Being In His League
Might as well end on a very special note.
“I would not consider going out with someone I don’t find attractive,” said Reddit user Quidagismedici. “I am however, unattractive. According to reddit, this makes me a hypocrite & it is unfair of me not to ask out unattractive women, who of course, have no standards of their own & would be delighted to be asked out by an unattractive man. Now of course, nobody actually believes that that last part is true, but still I should be asking them out anyway. Basically, as an ugly man it’s selfish of me to be attracted to an attractive person since they don’t owe me anything, but I do owe it to unattractive women to give them an opportunity to reject me.”
Wow, bro. Ever heard of therapy?