World’s First Penis Reduction Surgery Just Happened

I guess now we kinda get why guys say things like “getting a breast reduction surgery is like slapping God in the face.” But then again, titties are not our reproductive and orgasming organ! At The University of South Florida this week, the first penis reduction surgery was officially completed on a 17 year old boy.

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Man, 17 is a little early to be deciding if your dick is too big, isn’t it? A majority of girls are still losing their virginity around that age, aren’t they? Regardless, it happened. And here’s the story as reported by The Oracle (USF’s newsletter).

“A 17-year-old boy may have felt a little prick when surgeons completed the world’s first penis reduction surgery.

The operation was pioneered at USF by urologist Dr. Rafael Carrion, director of USF’s Sexual Medicine Program. The patient reportedly complained that his penis was getting in the way of living a normal life, whether playing sports, having intercourse or wearing non-baggy pants in public.

The boy’s penis, while flaccid, measured seven inches in length and 10 inches in circumference — comparable to the shape of a football and size of a grapefruit.

Though the boy was able to achieve orgasm through masturbation, he was unable to complete intercourse, according to the paper published in the medical journal. The boy reported that, during the several times he attempted intercourse, his partner complained of discomfort due to the penis’s girth.”

Okay, I don’t have a ruler in front of me, but that sounds like one fat cock…maybe this kid had a point here. However, there are so many questions we have! Hey, big-penis dude, can you tell me if you’re still working properly down there with all the boner, ejaculation, and other fun stuff? Are you f***ing more bitches now without injuring them? Are you going to use this as a pick up line or never tell a soul?

Until said patient reaches out to Galore with these answers, all we have to go on is that he was reportedly “ecstatic” with his new dick. We may never know who this mystery monster-cock is, but we do have word that these celebs are packing.. wonder if they ever considered surgery?

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